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  1. #1
    Addicted Hiker and Donating Member Hammock Hanger's Avatar
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    Default Sharing space with other hikers...

    This could have probably gone under cost considerations but I felt it had a different undertone so I started a new thread.

    Hikers that have pre-appointed partners or spouses have already worked out the sharing thing. Solo hikers are completely on their own, maybe...

    Once you get into the swing of things and become comfortable with the group that is hiking around you, it is often common practice for hikers to share motel/hotel rooms. I mean after all alot of them have been sharing shelters every night and sleeping practiclly on top of each other in crowded ones. (The domino effect!)

    When it is 2 guys or 2 girls no one thinks much of it. On the trail, however, there are alot of times when it might be a guy and a gal. They could have spouses/partners back home. In the everyday world this is greatly frowned upon, even obscence. On the AT it is very common place. I spent a number of nights in a motel with 2 men that I was currently traveling with. I remember when 2 young ladies shared a motel room with a Catholic Priest.

    It is a great way to share some of the expenses when in a town. You get to sleep in a nice (well, sorta) bed, get a hot shower or two, catch up on the news, etc. WHile only paying for half the room. In the south where you can find a room cheap it's not such a big deal, however, up north the rooms get expensive in hiker terms.

    I do suggest that you discuss these type of situations with your partner before the hike verses call him/her up and say oh by the way I'm sharing a motel with some guy/girl. They are already feeling disconnected from you and your new world. This could be a shock to their system if not all ready prepared for it. My husband and I discussed it at length. Having both been hikers for years and knowing the trail life, shelter cohabitation and all he was pretty open to the idea.

    We have been together for 22 years and have great faith in each other. He knows that nothing is going to happen. Some partners may not be comfortable with it no matter what. It is important that you consider their feelings as well when making these decisions. Even if you and your partner are okay with it be prepared for some razzing from friends that just don't get it, or can't get their minds out of the gutter.

    Also, IMHO, I feel you should be careful how you act when in a motel with hikers of the opposite sex. Even though striping and dressing is done regularly in a shelter, don't tempt or tease in a motel room. You have access to a bathroom, dress in there.

    I have to say that I spent only 2 nights out of 1800 miles in a motel with another woman. Every other time it was a male, younger, older, same age... I personally am happy I have a strong partner who loves, respects and understands.

    HAMMOCK HANGER
    Hammock Hanger -- Life is my journey and I'm surely not rushing to the "summit"...:D

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  2. #2
    First Sergeant SGT Rock's Avatar
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    Good advice. I never thought about bringing up the subject with my spouse. I guess I owe it to here to mention this might happen.
    SGT Rock
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    NO SNIVELING

  3. #3
    Easyhiker
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    Just bringing this topic out of the 30 days in the hole

  4. #4
    Addicted Hiker and Donating Member Hammock Hanger's Avatar
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    Default just the other day ....

    a couple of hikers (guys) were telling me that they had a problem with this when on the trail. Their wives were NOT happy. One felt that had he discussed it prior and his wife was prefared and informed she would have been okay. The other said his wife would never be okay with it. HH
    Hammock Hanger -- Life is my journey and I'm surely not rushing to the "summit"...:D

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  5. #5
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    I don't stay in shelters or hostels so I certainly ain't gonna share a motel room with anyone. I have on rare occasions and only with 1 other person. Usually a lady cuz they're cleaner, quieter, less drunk and smell better.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf View Post
    I don't stay in shelters or hostels so I certainly ain't gonna share a motel room with anyone. I have on rare occasions and only with 1 other person. Usually a lady cuz they're cleaner, quieter, less drunk and smell better.
    nothing's changed

  7. #7
    Registered User gungho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf View Post
    nothing's changed
    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf View Post
    . Usually a lady cuz they're cleaner, quieter, less drunk and smell better.
    Until Soruck 08 (cabin c Saturday night?)

  8. #8
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    i slept in cabin D , in a private room, saturday night

  9. #9
    Registered User Grampie's Avatar
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    Default Sharing Space

    Sue, A good thread. I think all folks doing a thru and leaving a significant other back home should discuss this. Especialy if they have not been exposed to hiking the AT.
    Grampie-N->2001

  10. #10
    Donating Member/AT Class of 2003 - The WET year
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    I guess I am at a bit of an advantage, since both of us are hikers and have "been there". That said though, neither of us take for granted our "freedom" when we are out on a trail without each other.

    'Slogger
    The more I learn ...the more I realize I don't know.

  11. #11

    Default

    I shared a cabin in Rainbow Springs and a hotel room in Gatlinburg. After that I realized I'd rather have my privacy and haven't split a hotel room with anyone since.

  12. #12

    Default

    Cabin D was nice and quiet too

    RBman and I slept well!
    ad astra per aspera

  13. #13

    Default I figure...

    That as long as it's not one person each of opposite sex in a place where there is full privacy (motel room, say), the hikers' SOs at home have nothing to gripe about as a rule.

    If there is a younger, prettier, female that either is exhibitionist, or clearly indicates interest in a married male hiker (like those happen much ), say, I could see that staying in a motel room with them even as part of a group would be objectionable to the stay-at-home.

    Shelters -- no real control over, and someone else can come along at any time, so NOT the same degree of objectionability. Tenting nearby but in separate tent, even less for them to complain about IMO.

  14. #14
    Super Moderator Ender's Avatar
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    It's all a matter of trust, and how much a person and their significant other trust each other to do the right thing. But trust can't be just given blindly, but earned over time, and a big part of that is full disclosure about everything, and trying to find what could bother the SO beforehand and talking about it with them. Discussion beforehand will often relieve most fears.

    Basically, a healthy relationship involves talking with your SO.
    Don't take anything I say seriously... I certainly don't.

  15. #15
    Registered User jesse's Avatar
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    An alternative view. It would make my wife uncomfortable for me to share a room with a female, just as I would feel uncomfortable with her sharing with a male. I'm OK with this, and with others who share these thoughts.

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    My husband wasn't thrilled when I was staying with one other woman and a man at Fontana. When the other woman decided to head home, he really was unhappy. I tried to explain that it was no big deal, and we had separate beds, but he still insisted that it didn't look right. I never spent another night alone in a motel with a male after that. I didn't want to make my husband uncomfortable.

  17. #17

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    what happens on earth stays on earth!

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    I could see the reasoning behind splitting a room with someone but I just dont think that I would ever do it. Maybe a few males but not with another female. Only because I know that my girlfriend (of 5 years) wouldn't be thrilled about it... at all. She trusts me, but I know that she wouldn't be comfortable and I could understand that. I wouldnt be comfortable if she were staying in a hotel with another guy. Especially after being on a 5 month hike without your me there.

  19. #19
    Registered User Hitch's Avatar
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    My best friend on the trail happened to be a man. We are both happily married to non-hikers. We did share motel rooms but respected each other. My mate may not have understood but he trusts me to do the right thing.

  20. #20
    Geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by minnesotasmith View Post
    That as long as it's not one person each of opposite sex in a place where there is full privacy (motel room, say), the hikers' SOs at home have nothing to gripe about as a rule.
    I take it you've never been married?

    Griping need not be rationale or logical.
    Frosty

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