breaking the news

[rob123ufl]

so im home for thanksgiving right now, and i just broke the news that im thru-hiking to the family. they can't quite grasp why i want to do this, and they basically have no concept of what im undertaking. my mother can't understand why i want to go alone. ("what if something happens to you?" "isnt it dangerous?").

how do you address questions from people who literally have no idea about thru-hiking?

[warraghiyagey]

Unfortunately you have initially fallen into the negative reaction loop. Here's an idea though. Gather your friends/loved ones who are very supportive, think it's a great idea and who understand your undertaking and get them around your folks who are concerned about the 'dangers.' There's power in numbers and maybe their collective insights will help your Mom and others better deal with your upcoming lifetime experience.
See you on the trail.
SOBO8

[Marta]

There are some excellent DVDs on the AT out there, as well as books and magazine articles. I'd recommend previewing anything you hand out to make sure it doesn't press any of your close family members' panic buttons. You can also direct them to Trail Journals, so they can see that loads of people do this, including people who are older, weaker, feebler, and generally dumber than you are. (That was sort of a joke.) If they can do it, so can you. Hopefully you can whip up in them a certain amount of enthusiasm for the adventure.

Sadly, the only time my mother ever feels very positive about my hiking is when she is around people who say, "Hike the AT!!! Wow! I have always wanted to do that but didn't because..." The most amazing (to my mother) people react that way, including corporate executives and people in the arts, and other people my mother respects. For those few moments, she is very proud of me. Then she lapses back into worrying.

[Pacific Tortuga]

so im home for thanksgiving right now, and i just broke the news that im thru-hiking to the family. they can't quite grasp why i want to do this, and they basically have no concept of what im undertaking. my mother can't understand why i want to go alone. ("what if something happens to you?" "isnt it dangerous?").

how do you address questions from people who literally have no idea about thru-hiking?

You forgot, why would he tell us on this day when we are all here trying to be happy ? Your a new memeber of a really big club of family and friends that wonder what they did wrong and why would you waste your young life like this ?
Stay with your plan, include them in your planning, buy maps from AT Ultimate Store so they can follow. Fix some mail drops and have the most skeptic of the 'family' group mail them.
There is so much more you can and will do and the members here at WB's will be a great help and support.

You can do this, and it doesn't matter what your age is, I went through the same thing, people get it or they don't, but give your all and respect for your choice will follow.

[Lone Wolf]

so im home for thanksgiving right now, and i just broke the news that im thru-hiking to the family. they can't quite grasp why i want to do this, and they basically have no concept of what im undertaking. my mother can't understand why i want to go alone. ("what if something happens to you?" "isnt it dangerous?").

how do you address questions from people who literally have no idea about thru-hiking?

tell them you'll join the Army as a second choice

[BigCat]

You know, I wish I would have gotten that reaction. When I told my mom, she simply replied, 'Good. Take your dad, too.'

For families that do care, I think Marta had a good idea about watching one of the AT DVD's together. Then your mom can see that it's not a six month solo hike into the impenetrable wilderness.

[Pacific Tortuga]

tell them you'll join the Army as a second choice

the army what's up with that ?

[vaporjourney]

I dealt with this issue about a year ago when I told my family that I was going to thruhike in '07. Initially they were shocked, but after you explain to them and are able to great it down into stages, it helps lots. Explain that there will be tons of people around, lots of hostels in towns every 4 days or so, and that it is a well-documented trail with great guidebooks. No matter how safe you can make it seem, it still won't make people get around the fact that you are 'roughing it', and sleeping in the woods for days on end. I think that when you let them realize how many people are out there doing the same thing, it makes it seem more socially acceptable, and you seem like less of a mountain man, out in the wild solo.

I'm going through the same thing now, just having dropped the bomb weeks back that I'm going to do the PCT next year. Good luck. But don't let their opinion persuade you away from doing what you really feel you must. I have absolutely no regrets about my AT thru-hike, even though friends thought it was strange and idiotic.

[Kirby]

I just started showing my dad pictures, books, and movies. I answered all questions he had, and got his friends to relieve his fears. I have had him talk with hikers who have done hiked large portions to show it is not dangerous.

I second everything Marta said,
Kirby

[Phlashlite]

The suggestion about the DVD's, Trek seemed to be the best to show our family. When we broke the news to our daughter and son-in-law they were very concerned about our safety, even more so after watching some of the DVD's. After we started and they could see our progress they warmed up to the idea and now that we are finished they are very proud, but still say how much they worried about us.

[A-Train]

These are all really good suggestions, and I can agree with all of them. I too struggled much getting the fam to accept my AT hike, and then having to break the news I was going on ANOTHER long hike out west

Take solace in the fact that altho they may support you they'll never truly understand. They will never get the comraderie you share with other hikers, the way the forest smells after a long rain, the way you feel inside watching the sun set over a valley, or the exhiliration you get after doing a 20 or 30 mile day.

That's what we're here for!

[Programbo]

how do you address questions from people who literally have no idea about thru-hiking?

Ideally anyone who is planning a thru hike should be someone who has already been involved in camping/hiking/backpacking for many many years so a thru is just a natural progression of their life-long interest and love of nature...Someone would have already been on many day-hikes..many multi-day backpacking trips and returned safely...Then it would simply be.."Oh that Rob has always loved the mountains. Ever since he was a little boy he's been going back there every chance he gets".....BUT if you haven`t led that sort of life (Boy Scouts, Hiking Clubs, Hikes with friends) to suddenly announce you want to go on a 2,200 mile trek is quite an unexpected shock (I`ll admit I don`t even understand why half the people who say they are going to do a thru-hike want to do one and think they don`t either).... So I guess my question is, Have you been active in hiking/backpacking for a long time?...My advice on how to handle their concerns will be different depending on the answer

[Montego]

After telling my grown kids of my plans to do a thru hike of the AT, their reaction was one of "if we ignore it long enough, it won't happen". Needless to say I have gotten virtually no support from them even though I have tried to get them involved with purchasing gear, planning meals, viewing journals/pictures, etc.

The only change in my plans is that I believe, at this point, I will not have base support (mailing drop bxes, transcribing journals/pictured, etc.).

[Programbo]

So I guess my question is, Have you been active in hiking/backpacking for a long time?

Scrap all that..I now recall you are the young man who said he weighed 270 pounds and you mentioned your outdoor experience before....But I can still see their concerns as this is a slightly different type activity than any of the other outdoor things you mentioned...I shall ponder this farther as my turkey cooks

[Jim Adams]

I have done enough of these gone for weeks or months trips that my family seems to accept them now. They still worry but the fears are gone.
I was worried about my age and health when I was about to go attempt the PCT this year and tried to tell my son that if something happens I just want him to know that I loved him. I think he summed it up best when he looked into my eyes and said "Hey, calm down, you're just go'in on a long walk".

geek

[Jim Adams]

After telling my grown kids of my plans to do a thru hike of the AT, their reaction was one of "if we ignore it long enough, it won't happen". Needless to say I have gotten virtually no support from them even though I have tried to get them involved with purchasing gear, planning meals, viewing journals/pictures, etc.

The only change in my plans is that I believe, at this point, I will not have base support (mailing drop bxes, transcribing journals/pictured, etc.).

Go for it and don't look back! They will come around once they realize that you really are out there hiking and having fun.

geek

[wakapak]

i remember telling my family the first time i was going on a thru....they were shocked to the say least, and being a female wanting to start on her own, they were worried too. but as i talked about it more it eased the concerns (of course, there were still some even as i was on the trail). As the journey went along, i called home from towns, they sent maildrops, and they developed my pics since i sent them home. Now my mom is addicted to sending fun little maildrops to hikers and reading trailjournals...heck, i think she is wanting me to go out a 3rd time!!

[take-a-knee]

tell them you'll join the Army as a second choice

Don't just tell Mom you're joining the army, tell her you plan to be a paratrooper.

[Marta]

...buy maps from AT Ultimate Store so they can follow.

I posted the strip map on the AT on my office wall, and had another one at home. These were for me to look at during the lead-up to The Hike.

The way it turned out was that my husband took the one from home to his office and colored in with highlighters as I hiked along. At my office, the folks there put arrows at various points along the way, with dates written on the arrows. I've still got that one up in my office, and it's fun to look at.

The strip map is a great visualization tool for hikers and non-hikers alike to see what a long, strange journey it is.

[Deadeye]

The only change in my plans is that I believe, at this point, I will not have base support (mailing drop bxes, transcribing journals/pictured, etc.).

It may just be the holiday spirit, but I'm that close to volunteering!