Bad hiking partner!

[desdemona]

This is not strictly speaking a female only thing but I had a negative experience today. I climb this rather challenging trail (scrambling).
Anyway, I went with this guy I have hiked with before. Just glad it was short!!!

I kind of figured he might be an alcoholic (he is NOT a significant other, nor a boy friend)-- however, I have never seen him drunk. He got in the car with me (I drove at least), and he had an alcoholic smell. I also think that since he smokes he was in bad shape for this kind of hike, and fell a couple times in a not too controlled way.

Anyway, he kept telling me where to climb and just come on over here, come on quick, but then would say "take it easy!!!" in places I clearly felt where safe for me. So it might have been more of a control thing. And perhaps a male chauvenist thing-- as I am clearly in better condition. He also let go of the dog a few times after I told him I don't do that, at least not on purpose. (I haven't taken the dog there and probably wouldn't again. At least I got the pack and it provides a very nice handle. Very helpful.)

I also, at one point, told him not to touch me while climbing, unless I asked. I meant that last time he pushed on me a few times which I dislike.
He wouldn't hear any of my attempt at clarifying and got nasty-- so I kind of climbed farther ahead and let him cool off.

Anyway, my point in posting-- if you ever have a
feeling about someone it's probably right!!
(I wasn't worried from a standpoint that I thought he would try something.
Far from it. But I did worry about his mental status-- just didn't imagine what that would mean.)

It would be interesting to hear anybody else's experiences....



--des

[wakapak]

Glad nothing bad really happened to you!

Goes to show that we should always go with our gut instincts....a good thing for all of us to keep in mind. I know for me, it's good to be reminded of that!!

[Frau]

Hiking brings out the best and the worst in folks. I hiked with a colleague who suggested to me that he would enjoy a short hike. He probably weighed 375 pounds, BUT had been a very athletic hiker and hunter in his younger days before the weight gain.

He used the opportunity to tell me ALL about his ex and after about 40 minutes he was spent.

The next outting was more of same on the Apple ORchard Falls spur off the AT. This time he made it about 20 minutes because this hike was uphill. I kept getting a funny feeling about him. When he asked to his home to sample a dish he had made but served it to me on a plate he picked up off the floor (it had been there for his dog to clean), I tasted one piece of carrot and then was happy to use my gastric bypass surgery as an excuse to eat not more. I left and never returned.

You are so right about something being amiss, when you have that feeling initially!

And, this guy is a doctor....

Frau

[dixicritter]

OK y'all are making me soooo glad that I hike with my husband and sons!

[wakapak]

OK y'all are making me soooo glad that I hike with my husband and sons!

LOL! I haven't really had any bad hiking partner experiences, (well, not with guys, but the girl i started my first thru with...well that's a whole other story!) but reading this just reminded me to listen to my gut on things. usually I tend to go with my gut more when I'm out in the woods and less while in the "real world" but it should be the same no matter what!!

[Toolshed]

About 10 years ago, I set out on another longer Trail with a woman (I'll call hikergrrl) who was simply a friend - we had known each other for years and had hiked on many short trips together, but usually with others in group settings. Hikergrrl was nice but very much a organic granola chick - Definitely not my style.

I had a serious girlfriend at the time..... who didn't care for the outdoors, but knew I loved backpacking and had no issues with me stepping out for a month or so.....

Anyways on our 3 or 4th night, Hikergrrl was in tears as we set up camp (separate tents thank god) - I asked her what was wrong. She said she was head over heels in love with me and the 2 months we had been planning this trip she was planning all along to tell me and hope she could secret me away from my girlfriend over the next month.

Hikergrrl then spent the next few hours sobbing and and in tears going over her heartbreak history and that this couldn't be happening again and it was all her fault (...I resorted unsuccessfully to the old "it's not you..." routine) and hoped we could at least continue the trip. But after several day of Hikergrrl vacillating between tears and puppy-dog eyes to snarling at me if I looked at a picture of my girlfriend, I said ****** it and pulled out, ending what should have been a great 4 week trip.

I have avoided her like the plague in the years since and have decided it is much better making hiking plans with my own sex to avoid an hidden emotionally charged issues....

[Blissful]

Scary.

Follow your instincts, esp about other people and situations and either avoid them or get out. Hike safe.

[envirodiver]

It's safe to say that if you feel red flags there is a reason and they are not to be ignored. To often I have ignored my gut and done the slap to the forehead later with a "what was I thinking".

[JAK]

About 10 years ago, I set out on another longer Trail with a woman (I'll call hikergrrl) who was simply a friend - we had known each other for years and had hiked on many short trips together, but usually with others in group settings. Hikergrrl was nice but very much a organic granola chick - Definitely not my style.

I had a serious girlfriend at the time..... who didn't care for the outdoors, but knew I loved backpacking and had no issues with me stepping out for a month or so.....

Anyways on our 3 or 4th night, Hikergrrl was in tears as we set up camp (separate tents thank god) - I asked her what was wrong. She said she was head over heels in love with me and the 2 months we had been planning this trip she was planning all along to tell me and hope she could secret me away from my girlfriend over the next month.

Hikergrrl then spent the next few hours sobbing and and in tears going over her heartbreak history and that this couldn't be happening again and it was all her fault (...I resorted unsuccessfully to the old "it's not you..." routine) and hoped we could at least continue the trip. But after several day of Hikergrrl vacillating between tears and puppy-dog eyes to snarling at me if I looked at a picture of my girlfriend, I said ****** it and pulled out, ending what should have been a great 4 week trip.

I have avoided her like the plague in the years since and have decided it is much better making hiking plans with my own sex to avoid an hidden emotionally charged issues....

Man I love organic granola chicks, and she was a hiker as well. Too bad the chemistry wasn't there. My wife's not a hiker or a sailer, but I guess she's got all the right phermones in all the right places. Our daughters a beaut, so I guess phermones don't lie.

Anyhow, back to the thread, at least he was just an *******.
Trust your instincts, and best judgement.

[desdemona]

I never got the "I won't be safe feeling", hardly. Actually I was probably much safer than he was given that I was in much better condition. (Pickling your brain with alcohol and heavy smoking don't do wonders for you-- I think maybe he has some kind of lung condition as well, come to think of it.)

But he is a sick dude (not a girl/boy thing) actually, a gal that was an alcoholic would have been as bad I suppose. I gather that whatever issues might be under the surface come out with alcohol because the inhibitions are the first thing to go.

But still this reminds me to stay with my instincts on this. It's always the best thing.

BTW, I think some other situation might have been bad as well. Frau described a pretty repulsing event OFF the trail.
Though IF I had listened to him trying to speed me up, that might have been really dangerous. I know the first rule of climbing is "stay within your limits". At least I kept my head at that point.


--des

[TOW]

You know, my dog Sally says she gets the same gut feelings about me when we hike. I don't understand exactly what she wants out of me, I mean we can hike twenty miles (we haven't yet, just sayin' though) and she will act all disgruntled like I haven't hiked near enough. I mean that dog just does not get tired?

Is it me or her?

[Lilred]

I hiked for awhile with a guy a few years back, met him on the trail. Turned out to be a huge mooch. shared a bunkhouse with me at NOC, didn't give me any money. I had to pay for both our laundry and the soap. He borrowed my phone at one point and talked for almost an hour, wearing down my battery. Finally, when we got to Robbinsville, he said he needed to go home. I ended up paying for the hotel bill, and glad to do it, just to be rid of him. He kept saying he'd pay me back, took down my address, but of course, I'm still waiting for the money.....

[tina.anderson]

I hate when hiking partners stick you money. I have had similar experiences to yours. We have to put our foot down and not let these people mooch off of us anymore. Although I would rather have a hiking partner like that than one who can't stop drinking.

[zoidfu]

My friend on here(Native Pennsylvanian)drinks too much and he makes me drink too. He gets moody and he beats me. He runs off thru hikers and tells them to stay out of PA. He's sullen and quiet when he's not yelling at someone or something or some animal.

[AlwaysHiking]

A few years ago my cousin and I decided on a last minute trip to somewhere in WV. He and I are really good hiking partners but somehow this 'friend' of mine ended up inviting himself along. My cousin had to back out last minute for a valid reason but it left me with a guy I already couldn't stand much. I figured it couldn't be that bad and the weather was supposed to be beautiful and I had already bought our food so we went just the two of us.

He drove me nuts. He kept telling me how and where to hike. He insisted in going in front but couldn't follow the trail to save his life. These are trails I've hiked for a decade and he'd never been before yet he thought he knew better than me.

In camp he walked around in his briefs. It's one thing to change in front of another hiker, but a completely different thing to just hang out in tighty whities; not cool no matter who it is.

He almost started a forest fire, he cut down living trees, I blasted him left and right constantly about his impact. He didn't seem to care.

He kept trying to get an invitation to my tent for the night. He thought that our little trip meant we were a couple and acted hurt that I didn't share his feelings. THANK GOD I HAVE TWO TENTS!!

The next morning when I woke up he had already eaten all of breakfast plus most of lunch. Luckily I don't usually eat breakfast so I was OK. At lunch he got mad that I wouldn't share what was left with him. I wouldn't let him anywhere near it.

The worse part was how he constantly picked fights. He started bashing certain aspects of hiking and complaining about things he knew nothing about at all. At some point I put him in timeout and told him he wasn't allowed to talk to me for another 30 min. He stomped off up the trail in the wrong direction throwing a little temper tantrum.

I cut the trip short by a day because I couldn't stand him anymore. On the way back to the car we picked blueberries. He picked and ate three quarts on his own and complained the whole way home about his stomach issues that resulted. I complained about the results he left in my bathroom when we got back to my house.

That's hands down the worst trip I've ever had. I've been out a couple days and gotten violently ill and stuck there for another 24 hrs, and that wasn't even as bad as the trip with this guy.

[gungho]

OK y'all are making me soooo glad that I hike with my husband and sons!

After reading several of these posts I have to agree with you. My wife makes an excellent hiking partner. I hate the "downs" and she hates the "ups",so it evens out by the end of the day.

[Bob S]

I hiked for awhile with a guy a few years back, met him on the trail. Turned out to be a huge mooch. shared a bunkhouse with me at NOC, didn't give me any money. I had to pay for both our laundry and the soap. He borrowed my phone at one point and talked for almost an hour, wearing down my battery. Finally, when we got to Robbinsville, he said he needed to go home. I ended up paying for the hotel bill, and glad to do it, just to be rid of him. He kept saying he'd pay me back, took down my address, but of course, I'm still waiting for the money.....

I think I know this guys twin brother, he lives in Toledo Ohio and is named Paul. I don’t even answer his e-mails or the phone when he calls any more.

[Two Speed]

Been a mixed bag for me. Oddly enough all the folks I met through WB have been good hiking partners, if not great hiking partners.

Have had two negative experiences. The horror show was a long distance hike I did back in the spring of '05. Believe it or not this chick managed to piss Bob Peoples off.

Twice.

Without getting into details I had to cut that one short; claimed my feet were too bad, took her back to her truck and made tracks for Marietta to regroup. That whole episode really chapped my hide.

On the positive side, Skids, RockStar, Hippo, DWM, ya'll have been great to hike and hang out with and I just can't say enough good things about ya. Haven't hiked with JRabbit, but the little bit we've hung out she's been good company. Also gotten to hang out a little with Sly, Tha Wookie, Dixi, Sgt Rock, Ed Bell, Nightwalker . . . learned a bunch from ya'll and really enjoyed your company. Miss Janet is another WB'er that I'd hang out with any time I can. Haven't met the Frolicking Dinosaurs in person yet, but I'm gonna fix that one day.

[desdemona]

I think I know this guys twin brother, he lives in Toledo Ohio and is named Paul. I don’t even answer his e-mails or the phone when he calls any more.

Actually this guy may be his triplet. He knows I have a spare bedroom. He was going on and on about his housing situation. I think he was hoping.. I'm sure if he moved in it might take years to get him out!! But no way. Even before I knew he was a drunk.

Yikes but some of your stories are awful!! I think the story of the guy going around the campsite half naked and nearly starting a forest fire sort of tops them off. I know about the fighting aspect. I think this guy could do that. I backed away as he was going off though.

--des

[Pokey2006]

This is why I hike alone.

It's not uncommon for gals to get a weird attitude from male hikers like it was your first day ever stepping foot in the woods. I get "lectures" all the time from guys who have fewer miles under their belts than me. Not sure what it's all about. Not like we're doing something macho like playing football. We're just walking for crying out loud.

Can't say I have any war stories to rival these, though. Mainly because if someone bugs me, I simply stop hiking with them (easier said than done sometimes).