Ladies and gentlemen ... it is safe to go back into the woods!
Hormel, arguably one of America's finest institutions, now packages Spam in single-serving 3oz. foil wrappers! They require no refrigeration, are much lighter than the canned variety and you only use what you need without having to worry about how you'll tote the rest of your Spam down the trail.
Hell, they don't even require cooking, even, since they're already pre-cooked, so when your .0024 ounce alcohol stove blows off Blood Mountain in a 50-mph gale force wind, you won't freaking starve to death.
22 mouth-watering grams of fat, fat, fat - 32% of the recommended daily intake, with 0g of unhealthy saturated fats, in each slice Spam is probably one of the best trail foods you could purchase. And each slice comes with 11 grams of protein thrown in at no additional charge.
At just 99 cents per slice, you sir and yes even you madam, have run out of reasons for delaying any longer your thru-hike based on mere financial expense. The fine folks at the Hormel factory have solved that pesky problem!
Let's hear directly from our friends at Hormel: "Spam singles are already cooked! This might blow your mind. For your own safety, stop thinking about how easy Spam singles will make your life. It's time to enjoy. Take another bite and throw your head back and think wonderful thoughts of faraway places while you chew, like a magical Spam Castle in the Sky and what a delicious and convenient visit you'd have."
Here! Here!
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a long day coming. The darkness has been lifted. I say verily unto you, yea as you walk through the valley of the Delaware Water Gap, go forth with confidence knowing that whatever comes at you over the next hill, you have your Spam to help you over it.
You are now free to walk about the trail.