Hiking alone and my wife

[hawkeye]

I have a problem. My wife hates it when I went out by myself on overnight trips. She thinks it is not safe for me to hike alone. I stay on the AT so that there are others out there. None of my friends backpack so finding someone else can be hard. The last 2 times I went out I got bit by a dog in CT. and on the Long Trail I slipped on a rock and bruised my lower back! More fuel for her! How can I get her to understand that backpacking on the AT is safe to go solo. Please post response that she can read. Thanks,
Greg

[IceAge]

Hiking the AT is safer than walking down the sidewalk, no chance that a car might lose control and hit you.

[Many Walks]

Any chance your wife will go out with you for some day trips and then some over night camping to really see what it's like? Once she understands the environment she may become more comfortable. Stuff happens out there like slips and falls, etc, but that can happen everywhere. I'd rather be out hiking than sitting on the couch waiting for a heart attack.

[mister krabs]

You can't. It would be nice if this was something you could fix, but it's her fears that she has to deal with. Hopefully she will recognize that it her fear of the unknown and being left alone that is driving her resistance, not the statistically safe reality of the situation. Show her my post of what I found in my back yard in the suburbs last night and I'll tell her right now that danger is in your life everyday, at home, at school, in the car, and at work. Living in fear of possible imagined danger to the point of abandoning your dreams and aspirations is no way to go through life. It's too short.

Just bring a phone and use it as often as you can while reminding her that coverage can be spotty . Frequent texts should help her keep her anxiety at arm's length. Regardless, it's her fear, she has to deal with it, you can only help.

[Doctari]

The unknown is scary for many.
Check out:
Lynn Weldon's video "How to hike the AT"
Backpacker mag produced a video wherre they gave a bunch of hikers cam corders & had them hike the AT, sorry I can't find the link anymore or remember the name.
David Brill's book "As far as the eye can see" & other books may make the AT less unknown, & let her at least "know" the AT a bit better.

[superman]

Trade the wife in for one that doesn't care as much about your safety.

[GoldenBear]

Another plan that's worked VERY well with my wife: make a dual-vacation! The two of you go to a place where there is (1) hiking for you and (2) something for her. A rural B&B is perfect. She drops you off at a trail-head in the morning, then goes and does things she loves but knows you don't enjoy. At the end of the day she picks you up at another trail head. YOU get to do what YOU love and SHE gets to do what SHE loves -- then, after you shower off your day's dirt, you BOTH do what you BOTH love.

As part of our 25th anniversary year, my wife and I spent three days in the Jersey Highlands, following the above script. And, although neither of us saw each other all day, we both consider it one of the most romantic times of our marriage!

[saimyoji]

She's right. The AT is a terrible dangerous place. Lightning, bears, coyotes, hypothermia, giardia, cryptosporidia, wolfmen, axemurderers, creeper vines, widowmakers, ice-storms, hail, day hikers, bad dreams, and to top it all off, MinnesotaSmith is out there somewhere. Better off walking in the local park.

[Frosty]

I have a problem. My wife hates it when I went out by myself on overnight trips. She thinks it is not safe for me to hike alone. I stay on the AT so that there are others out there. None of my friends backpack so finding someone else can be hard. The last 2 times I went out I got bit by a dog in CT. and on the Long Trail I slipped on a rock and bruised my lower back! More fuel for her! How can I get her to understand that backpacking on the AT is safe to go solo. Please post response that she can read. Thanks,
Greg

It's okay if she thinks it isn't safe. You don't have to make her think anything. And I don't think you could no matter how hard you tried. It is about her concern that the worst thing in the world might happen - you could die. It doesn't matter that the odds are way low. It could happen and that bothers her. She has great concern for you and your safety. And you don't want her to worry needlessly. Each of you are concerned about the other, and that is a very good thing.

As a parent, I worried about my son all the time. Not that something was likely to happen, but the consequences to my life would be devastating if something did.

Of course, he had a right to live like a normal kid, and he did. I worried but tried to not let it affect my decision making. I could forbid my son from doing a lot of things, unlike your wife, who cannot stop you - an adult - from going hiking.

The best you can hope for is that she will continue to worry about you but recognize that you have a right to go hiking, and that as a husbandly activity, it is a whole lot better than getting drunk every night, womanizing, and/or gambling away your paycheck every week.

The best you can do is to recognize that her fear is one of you dying and it doesn't matter how unlikely it might be.

Weekend trips are good because eventually she may get the picture that it is safe. Or she may not.

Taking her with you might be a terrible idea. If she really believes that camping is dangerous, putting her in a tent in the woods with you and having her lie awake all night terrified at night noises and animals rustling leaves just outside teh tent is not going to make her feel better. Some people are afraid to sleep in the woods. Even many experienced backpackers need a couple nights to get back into the groove when they first start out.

Fear is not logical. I am afraid of roller-coaster type rides. It doesn't matter that the roller coasters run day after day without people dying. They affect me on a gut level and that is that. Quoting safety statistics to me is a waste of time. Other people are afraid of flying or sleeping in the woods or whatever.

Good luck, both of you.

[skinewmexico]

Buy a really big life insurance policy. She'll be encouraging you to go. And don't tell her when you get hurt!

[Boudin]

My wife used to worry about me hiking alone. You know, the typical "What if you fall?, What if you have a heart attack? What if.....?" You fill in the blank. I found that she worries less if I can stay in contact with her by cell phone. (I know, don't start bitching about technology). I also take lots of pictures. During the thru-hiker season I sometimes bring thru-hikers home for barbeque and a shower. Over the last 19 years, we have had hundreds of hikers stay at our house. My wife now shuttles hikers throughout the year. Her involvement makes it possible for me to hike without catching grief. Now instead of worrying about falls and heart attacks, she teases me about meeting hiker chicks.

[Rain Man]

She's right. The AT is a terrible dangerous place. Lightning, bears, coyotes, hypothermia, giardia, cryptosporidia, wolfmen, axemurderers, creeper vines, widowmakers, ice-storms, hail, day hikers, bad dreams, and to top it all off, MinnesotaSmith is out there somewhere. Better off walking in the local park.

Can't believe snakes and spiders weren't in the list. And now of course, we're more likely to have paranoids packin' sidearms! YIKES!!!

RainMan

.

[Bilko]

Are you kidding? Driving in Cape Cod is hundred times more dangerous than anything on the AT. However to be safe (like SkiNM wrote) buy a really big life insurance policy.

[sheepdog]

I have a problem. My wife hates it when I went out by myself on overnight trips. She thinks it is not safe for me to hike alone. I stay on the AT so that there are others out there. None of my friends backpack so finding someone else can be hard. The last 2 times I went out I got bit by a dog in CT. and on the Long Trail I slipped on a rock and bruised my lower back! More fuel for her! How can I get her to understand that backpacking on the AT is safe to go solo. Please post response that she can read. Thanks,
Greg

Don't tell her about getting bit by a dog or falling down. How long you been a husband?

[bigmac_in]

You know, I've never worried about hiking alone on the AT, because I've never gone more than a few hours without seeing someone on the trail. I'm not worried about most of the "hazard" mentioned previously, but my main concern would be some type of injury. (a heart attack might be fatal no matter if you were alone or not) If you are injured on the AT, it is typically just a matter of time before someone else comes along.

I went out on the Knobstone Trail, here in Indiana, one April day and was the only one on the trail. Didn't pass a soul all day. I started thinking - what if I was injured, or had a heart attack or something? It would be many hours before my wife realized I wasn't coming home and a search was made for me. It bothered me for a while, but really, I didn't care. I was out doing what I wanted to do - spend some time in the woods. You can't live your life worrying about the "what ifs". You've got to get out there and do the things that make you happy. If you don't - that's when the heart attacks and such come around.

[Shutterbug]

I have a problem. My wife hates it when I went out by myself on overnight trips. She thinks it is not safe for me to hike alone. I stay on the AT so that there are others out there. None of my friends backpack so finding someone else can be hard. The last 2 times I went out I got bit by a dog in CT. and on the Long Trail I slipped on a rock and bruised my lower back! More fuel for her! How can I get her to understand that backpacking on the AT is safe to go solo. Please post response that she can read. Thanks,
Greg

The places I hike alone are a lot more remote than where you are hiking, but the issues are the same. I bought a SPOT messenger and subscribed to the tracking feature. My wife can see where I am on Google Maps. When I decide where to camp for the night, I send an "I'm OK" message. It has made my wife more comfortable with my hiking alone.

[Two Tents]

HEY! That finder thing sounds cool. How big and how heavy is it?

[Egads]

REI http://www.rei.com/features/spot.html

[Dad]

Check out this post on another site about "risk"

http://www.trailjournals.com/entry.cfm?id=121083

Dad

[Blissful]

Don't tell her about getting bit by a dog or falling down. How long you been a husband?

Ha, ha. That is actually true. But tell her I went in '07 with my teenage son and yet my hubby hung in there and trusted that we would be okay (even when I called one night to say we were stranded at Overmountain shelter with no food and then the cell phone died). He trusted me. That and lots of prayer helped him.