need help with a girly girl

[stunt man]

first off i want it to be known that i am a male posting in this section but i have a question that i feel will be best answered by females so i chose to post here, hope thats ok.

anyway, i have a girl that i have been dating for a little while now and she knows about my plans to thru hike next season and she is actually starting to consider doing it with me. she is definitely an outdoorsy country girl but on the other hand she can be a bit of a girly girl and likes to have her nails done and makeup and stuff and must shower everyday which we all know isnt possible on the trail. just looking for some help with this cause i really want her to experience the hike with me but i dont want to lie and say "yeah u will be able to shower every day" haha and that type of thing. i guess im having trouble putting what im looking for into words but if u know the type of thing im asking for help with please voice your opinions.

[JoshStover]

Suggest having her start with you and maybe meet up with you for the occasional weekend or so. I know the planning that goes into meeting people while on the trail is a pain but.... This is what I am planning on doing with my fiance...

[stunt man]

Suggest having her start with you and maybe meet up with you for the occasional weekend or so. I know the planning that goes into meeting people while on the trail is a pain but.... This is what I am planning on doing with my fiance...

thats a good idea but i would really like her to thru with me the whole way. if it comes down to having to do that i will but i would rather that not be my first option

[Marta]

Take a week-long hiking vacation together beforehand. If a week isn't possible, do at least a three-day weekend. She'll either be on fire to hike the whole Trail, or not.

[Seeker]

i would really like her to thru with me the whole way.

hiking the AT is a goal one must set for oneself. you cannot, as much as you would like to, set it for her.

that said, all you can do is introduce her to backpacking. her love of being "out in it" will have to grow enough to overcome her need for a daily shower. my 15 year old daughter is much as you describe... outdoorsy, but still brings nail polish and a different color hair ribbon for the next day on an overnight trip... eventually, she'll either quit bringing her 'frilly stuff', or not... btw, most i've had her out was for 2 overnights/3 days of canoeing in the adirondacks.

[Saffirre8]

Quote: Take a week-long hiking vacation together beforehand. If a week isn't possible, do at least a three-day weekend. She'll either be on fire to hike the whole Trail, or not.

I totally agree with this, b4 u do ur thru-hike take her on some weekend or week long backpacking trips to see if she likes it or not. Either she will love it or hate it. Personally i am a sectional hiker to prepare myself for a one day thru-hike. If someone has never backpacked b4, how would you know if they like it or not or can even handle it. This is what i plan on doing in the spring/summer. i have 2 children so there is no way i can do a thur hike yet being a single mom. Good luck with your adventure. Let me know when you get to MD i will hike some sections with you!!!

[bobcat12]

i would give her a chance b/c when i was in highschool i used to shower daily,like the outdoors but wasnt a fanatic especially since ohio isnt the most know state for the outdoors....i got a job in alaska(remote fishing lodge) and now love the outdoors....ive went weeks without showering while ive been working in alaska, fly-fish all the time, and now i want to start backpacking more....i grew up on a farm but alaska made me more into the person i am today

[ShelterLeopard]

first off i want it to be known that i am a male posting in this section but i have a question that i feel will be best answered by females so i chose to post here, hope thats ok.

anyway, i have a girl that i have been dating for a little while now and she knows about my plans to thru hike next season and she is actually starting to consider doing it with me. she is definitely an outdoorsy country girl but on the other hand she can be a bit of a girly girl and likes to have her nails done and makeup and stuff and must shower everyday which we all know isnt possible on the trail. just looking for some help with this cause i really want her to experience the hike with me but i dont want to lie and say "yeah u will be able to shower every day" haha and that type of thing. i guess im having trouble putting what im looking for into words but if u know the type of thing im asking for help with please voice your opinions.

Well, I know a couple ex- girly girls, and in my opinion there are two things that could happen.

One, she’ll completely adapt to being a thru hiker- she won’t know until she tries it how much she loves being dirty, and how good a shower will feel after ten days.

Or two, she could (if she absolutely couldn’t stand being dirty) carry the new sea to summit portable shower, and even an extra fuel bottle (let her carry the weight- not you)and biodegradeable soap, and even heat up water for a shower every evening. But, soon she'll either discover that it isn't worth doing, and she's too tired every night to shower, or it'll be perfect, or she'll leave the trail.

Take her for a section hike and even bring the shower and see how she does. I bet she'll adapt well.

On the other hand, I have woken up in a shelter to see some girl applying mascara-guess she didn't like the hiker way. Bet she got eaten by a bear.

[Pacific Tortuga]

Polished nails and make-up, will never be a measure of strong will and a hard head, she may surprise you.
I've known a few "girly girls", that can take your breath away, then take off on a long hike/pack trip and leave you breathless, sucking air to keep up with them.
Like other's have said, a trial run or two should help you and her decide.
Good luck, hope you find a long distance hiking partner that cleans up well too.

[Spirit Walker]

A couple thoughts -
1- Bring her to the Ruck in January. She'll get a chance to meet other female thruhikers. It may help ease her uncertainty.
2. Let her know how important this hike is to you, and how much you want this to be a shared endeavor that will draw you closer together.
3. Let her know that there are towns quite frequently, and that there is almost always water to clean up in at the end of the day.
4. She can hold on to her femininity. I've seen many hikers who wear dresses on the trail or in town, even a few who wear makeup and deodorant.

I agree about taking practice trips before you go. Keep pack weight light and go to places with good "rewards" - views, waterfalls, etc. However, don't carry ALL the weight. She needs to know what she is getting herself into, and I think that it is better that she carry her own load, as much as possible.

As others have said, if she decides to go, you may be surprised at how well she does.

[Blissful]

See if you can go on a few backpacking trips together and see how it works out.You'll know soon enough and so will she.

[MichaelRedBeard]

As long as she is physically capable of handling the terrain, I think the rest will all come with time

[snaplok]

I agree with Shelter Leopard completely. My girlfriend is as girly girl as they come, but will backpack and carry her own weight and then some with the best of them, minus the makeup and nail polish.

That said, we both shower on the trail daily with the Sea to Summit portable shower. Never quite understood how being grimy, dirty, and downright funky translates into being one with the hiker gods. For her comfort, and my sense of enjoyment, I have gotten the shower, a Lady J urinal so she can go standing up( she's been dying to write her name in the snow lol) an ultralight ultrasoft towel and a copy of the book 'How to ***** in the Woods." I think its the little things that you can do to show that you care about her level of comfort that will make her love backpacking with you.

[stunt man]

wow thats great advise from everyone and i appreciate it. well i talked to her about it today and we decided that we are going to do a few weekend hikes to see how she does before she decides to go for the long haul. i'll have to check out the sea to summit shower and maybe that will put her mind at ease about showering daily.

[ShelterLeopard]

And the sea to summit is very very light. If you seriously want a nice shower, you could heat half of the water (not all of it- first, don't want to burn off your girlfriend's skin, second, the bag is not designed to hold boiling water).

Biodegradable soap.

[wrongway_08]

Well, you can always stop off by Sasquatche's and have her nalis done ..... his kids did a great job on mine ..... don't ask ....

As far as the shower thing goes, use a 3 liter platypus as your bladder and at night fill it with warm water - hang from a tree and shower. Easy and you dont need to carry an extra thing to take showers with.
I used this method and showered every 2 or 3 days - at the very least I was able to wash my hair/face/arms and legs every day.

Get her out and do a 4 day trip, no shower, change of clothes or anything like that. If she can deal with that - you two are good to go!

[ShelterLeopard]

By the way, I've never used the dea to summit- but I know it is extremely light.

She can also just take a bandana bath in a stream.

Or she'll become so addicted to being filthy dirty that you'll have to force her into the shower in towns!

[harryfred]

I get to talk to a lot of thru hikers as they pass by, and everything I have read here is very good advice. I will agree you two need to take some shorter hikes leading up to a week or so. Not only to see if she likes it, but to shake out her gear and for the two of you to establish a rhythm together. Don't be surprised if that means you separate during the day and regroup at night, and don't be surprised if she kicks your a** on some types of terrain. She needs to carry her own pack, if there are things you share and you feel you can take the weight that's fine but don't carry her stuff. I did meet a couple, where he had messed up his knee and she was carrying a lot of his weight trying to get to Duncannon to spend some zeros and heal.encourage her to talk and tell you what makes her comfortable and uncomfortable work to make her gear work for her. I have met a couple of couples that started sharing a two person tent and changed to each carrying their own tent because of the funk factor. Women have a several different considerations this is a good forum for her to come to and ask. Lastly if she doesn't enjoy it she will not finish. Discuss ways for her to bail. She may even want to bail out and come back during certain sections. Good luck and I hope to see you as you pass thru I'll share some whiskey if you'll share your story.

Over the Edge

[Dancer]

Very good advice already. Hooch and I took a 5 day trip and did all of Maryland. I was worried about not being able to shower, especially wash my hair. One of the things that made it better was that Hooch still hugged and kissed me on day 5, ignoring the fact that we were both pretty ripe. Take her out and let her see that you aren't going to be grossed out and break up with her when she hasn't had a shower for a few days. One of my concerns was being stinky around my boyfriend but now I know it's cool.

[StarLyte]

Yes, bring her to the PA Ruck - Jan 29 thru 31st, 2010.

As for hiking, and I'm not a thru-hiker, but I wouldn't dream of leaving my eye make-up at home. My nails are done prior to hiking....God forbid if there's a photo of my hand in some picture and my nails look like crap, and believe me, I take baby wipes with me and clean up whenever I'm not around water.

I'm a country girl, and a vain old girly-girl at 52.

You tell your sweetie that there's nothing wrong with wanting to look her best anywhere on the Trail and don't worry about it.