Originally Posted by skinewmexico
Um? All of us?
Or was that your point?
"It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how." ---Dr. Seuss
I have a daughter, so it's a little different, but I do see some similarities. When I first started reading your post, I thought "That's just like L.!" (My daughter.)
I could never get her interested in scouting, and never, ever in going out into nature. It's "my" thing to do. I was passionate about something else, however, and tried very hard to "nudge" her in that direction. I didn't want to really force her to do it, so I just made the opportunity available - which is what you seem to have done. Your son did the Scout thing to please you, and in the long run, he'll be better for it. As another poster said, he appreciated it later in his life. Your son will probably also appreciate it when he's older.
He's 22. Right now he's interested in other things. Let him be interested in other things. You have to kind of "back off" and let him start to find his own way at this point. You've given him a good set of building blocks for his life, and now you have to step back and see what he does with those blocks.
What happened with my daughter was really "sweet." After I stopped trying to get her interested in what I wanted soooo much for her, I gave her a few years to try out different things on her own. After she had done this, and found her own way to do things, she did come around to the interest I had always had and wanted to share with her. Granted, she's not as passionate about it as I am, but she does appreciate the kind of work that I do, she now knows how to do it, and I have little doubt that she will eventually come to appreciate it more as she grows older. It turned out to be a lesson in love for both of us.
It's going to take a few years. Be patient, keep a level head, and listen to him talk about the things he's interested in. You'll be amazed at what you can learn at this point in your life. ; - )
I suckered my girls. They saw my pics from McAfee Knob and I bet them $10 each they couldn't climb up there and of course they did. Them I took them to Grayson Highlands and they got to see the ponies. Now they want to do some kind of hike with me when I have them during the summer.
Pain is a by-product of a good time.
very very smart mr miagi. u can tell them this little story when they are older and have a good laugh over it.
Yes, there must be more to the story than your son's lack of interest in the outdoors. Is it possible he felt too "molded" and is trying to disengage? Normally that happens during the teen years, but sometimes it happens later.There's NO common ground or company, and won't be for a long time. --WOO
Is it possible for YOU to show some interest in something your son is doing or wants to do? Maybe that would break the ice and let him know you're interested in his life, even if it doesn't follow the path you hoped it would.
Since the son doesn't share the father's interest(s), maybe the son has interests that the father can share...
FB
"All persons are born free and have certain inalienable rights. They include the right to a clean and healthful environment..."
Article II, Section 3
The Constitution of the State of Montana
Sorry. Forgot to use the sarcasm font.
Con men understand that their job is not to use facts to convince skeptics but to use words to help the gullible to believe what they want to believe - Thomas Sowell
Chin up Woo. All you can do is do the best you can, try what you know to do and thank heavens that they're not dead or in jail.
You've done a fine job I'm sure, someday he's gonna realize that you'll be dead soon and he better get all the time in with you that he can. I predict that will happen when he's nearing 40.
Wise Old Owl
Please don't fret this.. IMO your son's distancing from the outdoors is not a rebuke of you - rather him trying to be his own man. I am sure that you raised him right.
In my heady (and foolish) youth I rejected everything my parents (and grandparents) stood for. Now at 46, I am looking back at the wisdom of their ways and hope that I can do a better job of convincing my children of this wisdom. I know that my parents loved me and cared for me more than anything else in their lives. I think that you son recognizes this as well.. Give him time to explore what he wants to be.
Wishing you the very best
___________________________
Waiting for my time to hike...
Take him maintaining especially one with Bob Peoples. Or bring him to the south and see all the waterfalls and 6000 foot mountain scenary.
''Tennessee Viking'
Mountains to Sea Trail Hiker & Maintainer
Former TEHCC (AT) Maintainer
I'm inclined to agree with Lone Wolf. You can't push a rope.
Hang in there Owl. Just because you both were Eagle Scout's doesn't make him want to be in the outdoors hiking, backpacking, camping and fishing. My father was a scout master and my older and younger brothers where both in his scout troop. I wanted nothing to do with being a scout as my father was regimented enough for me. For some reason I liked being a loner, walking to my own beat. My brothers do not hike or camp today but my Dad who is 79 years young still hikes, hunts, and fishes every chance he gets. It is because of my father, grandfather, and a coach who was also was my biology teacher that I learned about and enjoy the outdoors. Just because we as parents may know 'everything about something', doesn't always make us the best teachers. I'm not saying you or others in his life were not good teachers, all I'm saying is that right now maybe he just wants to pursue other interest in 'his life', let him and support him in 'his endeavors'. I feel I’ve done my best to teach my son and daughter about the outdoors. They are both grown and married now and will occasionally hike and camp but they don't and probably won't understand 'my' passion for the outdoors. I say, "to each their own." If you’ve done your best that’s all that matters. Don't second guess yourself or feel frustrated. I believe one day after your son has been out in the ‘reality world’ long enough he 'will realize’ he misses those things that you and many others reading this cherish so much. Your son was very fortunate to have you for a dad. Most kids today don't have parents or should I say a 'parent' who will take the time to show or teach them about anything, let alone the great outdoors. Even if they do 'Lord forbid' if there's no hot showers or electric for all their gadgetry along with a McD's around the corner, well good luck in getting them out. I guess that group can always cyber hike the trail, heck it's better than nothing and they won't have to deal with blistered feet, only calluses’ on their thumbs and rear. Sort of becoming the case with some of the hiker’s I'm seeing out on the trail today.For others reading this post, "when was the last time you took a youngster out hiking, camping, or backpacking"? Yet we sit back and wonder why are youth are becoming so obese and our trail family so old?
Solution?
I propose a "take the kids hiking day"..., plan one for your area or hiking club
NOTE: If you do happen to find 'one' who is willing, ask them 'very nicely', because they are 'sooooooooo sensitive', if they would mind turning off their cell phone during the hike, yea, good luck on getting them to leave it at home, after all even you can’tand we wonder where 'they' get it.
Don't worry WOO, he might come back to it yet. My step-dad dragged me nearly kicking and screaming afew times a year for hunting and fishing from age 8-14. It just never clicked w/ me. It was nearly 20 years later that I once again had any interest in the outdoors.
Just hear me out on this WOO ; Sounds like your son was trying to make his old man happy for years by doing what you liked.
I mean, if your son has a healthy passion for other things , then you have done the best job you can do... let him live his life.
By getting him involved in scouting and outdoor activities , you have had a positive influence in his life . He will remember and one day thank you for it.
Give yourself a pat on back WOO and move on.
Getting lost is a way to find yourself.
I feel like I have the opposite problem.
Growing up, I never had a family that enjoyed camping, backpacking, etc. They were the beach vacation variety that would drive 6 hours to a beach when you look in every direction and see the Blue Ridge Mountains.
One day while living in MA I just grabbed the dog, a tent, loaded up some stuff in a cooler, and went camping, expecting to learn a lot of lessons. The next day when I woke up I climbed nearly to the top of Madison (large dog, boulders, etc. prevented a true summit).
I was hooked.
I always liked hiking around the Blue Ridge parkway, picnics, the scenic views, working in gardens, and never cared if I was covered in dirt. It never occurred to me to spend more time getting into hiking or backpacking.
Unfortunately, by the time I really got into backpacking and got serious about doing long-term things, my parents were well past their adventuresome age. If it didn't involve a hotel, they weren't interested in going anywhere for more than a night. It's sad.
There are a lot of other factors as to why I didn't get into backpacking and outdoorsy things earlier, and my circle of friends weren't really the outdoor adventure types (nor was my family, and that had a lot to do with working all the time), but I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities.
I wish I had someone that had encouraged this. Maybe not pushed or forced, but just really introduced me to the idea of hiking for days, months, etc. Well, maybe not even that, but just day hiking to summits or just going camping, etc. It's fantastic to be away from everything.
I hope your son comes around, WOO. I'm kind of jealous of him.
Man is only half himself,
The other half is a bright thing.
He tumbles on by luck or grace,
For man is ever a blind thing.
NP, I just wasn't sure.
"It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how." ---Dr. Seuss
i found that i had to do what my children WANTED to do as they got older. i showed them the outdoors, but to this day my daughter only jumps to a trip to South Street, my boys like kayaking and stuff at times. this year im going duck hunting. i hate hunting (just boring), but its time with my son and that's priceless.
learn to put your self in their shoes or it will get lonely real quick...... real quick.
I'm so confused, I'm not sure if I lost my horse or found a rope.
Austin a couple of years ago. Taken at Bethany Beach in Delaware on the back bay.
Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.
Woo
Oh. Well there you go.
Austin a couple of years ago. Taken at Bethany Beach in Delaware on the back bay.
Just trade kayaks with him. Problem solved. I wouldn't be caught dead in an orange boat either.
Skids
Insanity: Asking about inseams over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein, (attributed)
I was forced to take piano lessons. Well, I wanted them at first but was forced to keep going long past what I would have wanted. When I was finally allowed to quit, I never went near another piano ever again. I forgot how to play. I forgot how to read music.
Then one day I decided I wanted to learn to play the fiddle. I forced myself to remember how to read music. I am so glad I learned to read music as a child. Even though a lot of that knowledge is gone, enough is back to get by.
I play the fiddle, I play the Irish flute and penny whistle and even though I'm not very good, making music brings me much happiness. I'm grateful to my parents for making me take piano lessons. It helped me and enhanced my life.
Let your kid do what he wants. Someday the skills he learned in scouting will prove to have enhanced his life, too. Perhaps he will even get into the outdoors when he starts feeling caged in his cubicle.
Some knew me as Piper, others as just Diane.
I hiked the PCT: Mexico to Mt. Shasta, 2008. Santa Barbara to Canada, 2009.
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