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  1. #1

    Wink Invention stops top gripe of sharing shelters/tents


    Posted on Tue, Dec. 28, 2004
    New underwear filter leaves flatulent smelling like a rose


    Pioneer Press

    We've beaten body odor, thanks to deodorants.

    We've conquered bad breath with a lineup of ever-more-powerful breath mints.

    Now another personal stench may soon be eliminated from polite society thanks to a Hawaiian inventor and his Iowa partner. They hope to make the world safe from smelly flatulence.

    Their product Flat-D, the flatulence deodorizer is billed as "the most effective, cost efficient, comfortable and least intrusive means for deodorizing gassy discharges or groin and menstrual cycle odors."

    Basically, the Flat-D is a thin fabric pad made with activated charcoal that you tape to the inside of your underwear. The material, which is washable and reusable, absorbs and neutralizes odors.

    Inventor Brian Conant came up with the idea about five years ago after doing a chemical warfare training drill when he was serving the Hawaii Army National Guard.

    The protective suit he wore was lined with charcoal, and Conant noticed that when he was wearing it, he didn't create a stink when he passed gas.

    He decided he could create a new consumer product after his wife was having a gas attack and remarked, "Too bad there's not an underwear you can wear and you don't have to worry about the odor."

    According to Conant, the charcoal fabric in his product was originally developed by the British defense establishment "to provide protection to its soldiers against nerve gas and other toxic vapors associated with chemical warfare." So it should work against mere cut-the-cheese episodes.

    Conant patented his idea and acquired a partner, Cedar Rapids resident Frank Morosky.

    Morosky, who has had a career in sales and marketing, was also thinking about developing a flatulence-fighting charcoal product after a family vacation that involved a lot of new foods and car travel.

    "The kids would yell, 'Oh, Dad!' and I would roll down the windows," Morosky said. "This is a big problem. I'm feeling embarrassed with my family."

    When Morosky found Conant's patent, he proposed joining forces. At first the pair tried to get big companies like Procter & Gamble and Kimberly-Clark interested in the idea.

    They passed, saying it would cost millions in advertising to teach consumers that people could and should use a deodorant pad to combat flatulence, Morosky said.

    So about two years ago, the two started selling the Flat-D on the Internet (www.flat-d.com) and over the phone (1-866-354-0056). A single pad costs $12.95, a three-pack $32.95. Conant expects to get about 5,000 orders this year.

    Many of his customers have excess gas caused by special diets, medications or medical conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, colitis or diabetes.

    Besides the standard pads, Flat-D also features some specialized charcoal fabric products on its Web site. For example, there's a gas deodorant device for dogs in both a diaper model and thong.

    "Age can also affect the digestive tract of your dog," according to the Web site. "Your best friend deserves to eat the food he wants."

    A charcoal fabric mask is offered as a solution to "ANY bad odor gagging tasks." There's also a pad that you can install on a chair, and an oversized pad that Flat-D recommends for larger people.

    "We are making the rounds of the gastric bypass world," Morosky said.

    The company has even developed some prototypes designed to be used with thong underwear.

    "We have some out on test right now," Morosky said.

    "We have some people ask 'Can you do something about the sound?'" Conant said.

    There are competing products, such as special sealed underwear with charcoal. But Conant said those products can be hot to wear. He said his pads are more convenient because they can be used with most kinds of underwear including panties, briefs and pantyhose.

    "You don't have to have a big pair of underwear," Morosky said.

    The pad makers, however, don't recommend using their product with boxer shorts.

    "You need to have a seal between the material and the buttocks," Conant said.

    Conant suffers from gas because he is lactose intolerant. "If I'm like this, I'm sure there's a lot of people like this."

    Rae Seitz, a Hawaiian doctor who has agreed to endorse the product, said she used Flat-D to combat flatulence caused by chemotherapy for her breast cancer.

    Morosky said he's become a flatulence guru.

    "I've learned and continue to learn all I can about flatulence," he said.

    The Flat-D partners hope their product will be a pioneer in a cultural shift that will put flatulence in the same category as underarm smell or halitosis. In other words, a preventable personal odor.

    "In the 1960s, not everyone used deodorant," Conant said. "One day this product will be sold in stores and everybody will purchase the product."

    Conant said the product can be handy for people who have to work in an enclosed space, such as an airplane cockpit or an office cubicle. He said it would also be good for hairdressers, dentists, doctors, physical therapists and others who are in one-on-one contact with the public.

    "Flight attendants. We've had numerous flight attendants order the product," Conant said. "Usually their butt level is about cheek level with the passengers."

    But they've got a ways to go before everyone is convinced. Morosky and Conant admit that the reaction to their product is often laughter.

    "Last year, the holiday season, was big," Conant said. People were buying the pads as gag stocking stuffers, he said, although "I never portray the product like that."

    Maybe that's because the gas pad merchants say users tell them touching stories about how their social lives and even their careers were threatened by their gas problems.

    "Thanks to Flat-D, I have regained some dignity," an office worker is quoted as saying on the Flat-D Web site.

    "I didn't like to go out with company," said Carl Olson, a Twin Cities resident and Flat-D customer who said he has suffered from gas problems since his gall bladder was removed about two years ago. "You wear this charcoal filter. I still pass gas, but there's no smell to it when I wear it. You wouldn't laugh if you used it."

    "What our product will do is give you a better quality of life," Conant said. "That is the most gratifying thing an inventor can get."

    ================================================== ===

    Older version: http://www.under-tec.com/dp_article.htm

    Filtered underwear fights flatulence

    By Erin Emery

    Denver Post Southern

  2. #2
    http://www.myspace.com/officialbillville Mountain Dew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dallas, Texas

    Default A what ?

    In 2003 Greenman swears his sleeping bag had a "fart filtration system" in it.
    THE Mairnttt...Boys of Dryland '03 (an unplanned Billville suburb)
    [email protected]

  3. #3
    Registered User Morning Glory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Knoxville, Tennessee, United States


    Well, I had a better idea...even a name for it called Fart Fresh. It actually would be suppository with your choice of fragrances...wild apple, rose, blueberry, cinnamon...etc. I like this idea too though...I've already sent the link to my hiking buddy, Tailwind.
    Soli Deo Gloria

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Roots Farm, Winterville, GA


    No invention can withstand the after morning wrath of Bean Night. Besides, it just weighs less to walk in the back of the line.

    But I'm sure you would've figured that out.
    www.ridge2reef.org -Organic Tropical Farm, Farm Stays, Group Retreats.... Trail life in the Caribbean

  5. #5


    Farts are decidedly less funny if they don't smell.
    "I too am not a bit untamed, I too am untranslatable,
    I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world." - W. W.

    obligatory website link

  6. #6


    Not if you've had to share a shelter with me after a night of beer drinking.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by saimyoji
    Not if you've had to share a shelter with me after a night of beer drinking.
    I've grossed myself out on top of Frozen Knob on a gusty day. You're playing with the big boys here - you ready to go major league, fella?
    "I too am not a bit untamed, I too am untranslatable,
    I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world." - W. W.

    obligatory website link

  8. #8

    Wink The largest, grossest fart that can be imagined...

    You were warned: http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/bubble/

    (Need sound for this.)

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