Blazing the blazes....

[Lemni Skate]

I posted this in another thread five months ago, but I decided it was clever enough to get it's own thread and have WhiteBlazers with their unique humor add in.

Since, obviously nobody believes in "Hike your own hike" we need some sort of rating system for each hike:

"Pinky Blazer" - Person starts on top of Springer and ends up on top of Katahdin. What happens in between is irrelevant. They can take planes, steal cars, bum food, carry out affairs with hostel owners, or make a day-hiker carry their pack at gun point.

"Supported Hike" - Women wearing heavy duty sports bras and men wearing jock straps.

"Super-Purist" - Hikes the trail naked and refuses to eat or drink anything unless he actually finds it lying on the trail and it was clearly not put there by a person or an animal with more intelligence than a rabbit. He carries no pack or water bottles and refuses luxuries like privies.

"Changling Blazer" - Starts out as a Super-Purist and by the time he reaches North Carolina has become a Pinky.

"Thumbless Blazer" - No hitchhiking allowed. This person hikes from end to end without ever getting in a vehicle.

"Blue ball blazer" - Celibate for the entire trip.

"Baptist Blazer" - Manages to do the whole thing without one beer.

"AYOB Blazer" - Gains weight while on the trail.

"Whipped Blazer" - Carries all of his gear and his significant other's gear.

"Psychedelic Blazer" - Smokes at least one consciousness altering substance between every pair of shelters.

"Techno Blazer" - Has i-pod, GPS, notebook computer, i-phone, laser campsite leveler, etc.

"Blazer Blazer" - Hikes entire trail in a sharp looking Navy Blue jacket.

"Entourage Blazer" - Hikes with a group of hangers-on and never experiences any solitude on trail.

"Bumpkin Blazer" - Hikes the AT because the shelters are nicer than his home.

"Bimbo Blazer" - Hikes AT by flying to foreign countries and spending time with mistress.

"Braggart Blazer" - Hikes AT just as an easy way to recover from the real hiking they've been doing in Alaska.

"Green Blazer" - Decided to hike the trail after earning a fortune in business and can afford all the best gear and all the best accomodations in trail towns.

"Start a Blaze Blazer" - Has to have a campfire every night--even in areas where it's prohibited.

"Brown Blazer" - Intestinal distress for most of hike.

"Grumpy Blazer" - Tells anyone who will listen how horrible hike is.

"AA Blazer" - Generally spends extra zero days in every trail town due to hangover.

"Mystery Blazer" - No one has ever found out where he's from, what his real name is or what he did before he got on the trail.

"Spray Blazer" - Always "takes a whiz" within one or two steps of the trail.

[d.o.c]

blue balls suck jus sayn but hyoh

[Carl in FL]

Then there's the Google Earth Blazer. Hikes the trail from his easy chair, using the latest in 3-D rendering software. Sleeps on the bedroom floor overnight.

[Old Hiker]

I see it now: I'm going to be a grumpy, blue-balled whipped Baptist blazer. I hope.

[YohonPetro]

Ha, nice. It's like Badges from 4-square. So now there is a competition to hike the Trail in all these different ways.

Also, the Blog Blazer, posting a blog update every 5 steps along the Trail.

[Jelly-Bean]

I am out here now... taking a nero in Erwin TN. I have met every one of those blazers! Fun to read!!!

[Lemni Skate]

XC Blazer - High School Kid that runs the trail to get ready for cross country season.

[Don H]

Ran into some locals on horse back "Saddle Blazing" near Erwin. They let us know we were on their turf!

[Kookork]

I am jut happy you decided to bring it again. Great thread and very high quality funny stuff.


Underdog blazer: A hiker that every body predicted that he or she will not finish the thru hike but makes to the end.

[ki0eh]

What about the ones who blog about hiking the trail but never do? (And the next level, the ones who want to break records doing so.)

[Mike2012]

I've been a blueblazing blue blazer aka slo-hiker.

[Don H]

what about the ones who blog about hiking the trail but never do? (and the next level, the ones who want to break records doing so.)

cyber blazing!

[Don H]

What about the ones who blog about hiking the trail but never do? (And the next level, the ones who want to break records doing so.)

And hyper-cyber blazing!

[Lemni Skate]

Feeling blueblazer - Get's depressed on trail because they're homesick.

[Lemni Skate]

Midnight snack blazer - sleeps with their food.
whiteblaze blazer - never surprised on trail because they spent 2 hours a day on this site before the hike.
Entitled Blazer - Spends whole hike talking about how they never get any trail magic.
Hostile hostel blazer - Ticks off every person who runs a cheap lodging establishment within 20 miles of the trail.
Bumby blazer - brushed up against every poison ivy vine along the trail and walked through every swarm of insects.
Trail Goggles Blazer - Woman who keeps yo-yoing the trail because all those horny thru hikers think she's beautiful

[Lemni Skate]

AYOB Blazer from original post should be AYCE Blazer. Some how my brain switched from All You Can Eat to Bring Your Own Beverage. Hmmmm.

[Lemni Skate]

Midnight snack blazer - sleeps with their food.
whiteblaze blazer - never surprised on trail because they spent 2 hours a day on this site before the hike.
Entitled Blazer - Spends whole hike talking about how they never get any trail magic.
Hostile hostel blazer - Ticks off every person who runs a cheap lodging establishment within 20 miles of the trail.
Bumby blazer - brushed up against every poison ivy vine along the trail and walked through every swarm of insects.
Trail Goggles Blazer - Woman who keeps yo-yoing the trail because all those horny thru hikers think she's beautiful

Bumby Blazer should be a bumpy blazer

[WingedMonkey]

Social Blazers.
For those that attend the dozen of meets, greets, gathering, feeds, town festivals or what ever they call the opportunity to eat and drink and talk about hiking.

[Lemni Skate]

Feedbag Blazer - Hit every hiker feed on trail.

[moytoy]

And now we have the cafe blazer, but it's mostly above the M D line.