walter, i've got that one percolating for you. it's called, "keychain's moldering privy ***hole." this tale of intrigue and depravity chronicles my fellow city-boy and his early attempt at pooing on cheoah bald. readers will marvel at his sustained use of the crab-walk position, cringe in terror as he rips his last paper square, and laugh out loud as he reaches for the brown leaves.
FINALLY, THE VOICE OF REASON. People who backpack all the time need a backpacker's book on such events---along with the usual trails walked, shelters used and miles hiked. Here's a few more, from a book yet unbound---
ARCTIC MIDWIFERY
It takes a special breed of individual to strip half naked and to birth a mean and angry turtlehead into the snowy and frozen ground of a high mountain bald. Few are called, all must squat. Young Nanook was conceived from a meal I ate two days ago and after a 48 hour gestation was birthed using the Tundra Method: Slap him down on the snow and run like hell.
A true tundra baby will quickly form an igloo of stool and in several minutes will be as frozen as the snow around him. Ah, but yesterday I dug an unused hole so today Young Nanook's nursery was already prepared for immediate usage. Shunka The Dog as a carnivore would've eaten Young Nanook but he was across camp and I had Nanook buried quickly before Shunka's approaching breakfast.
POST PARTUM GLEE
Many people get post birth depression, but not me, the last thing I think about after squatting to release a young turtlehead is suicide, in fact, each birth makes me want to live that much more. So let's hear it for the humble turtlehead and though it gives its life smothered and buried, it allows us to go forward into the bright light of a new day, etc.
TURTLEHEAD REPORT
(Those easily offended should turn away). I went outside in the unstrung boots(still frozen)and squatted by the tent and birthed a healthy turtlehead atop the surface of the snow where it will remain until tomorrow when I'll have time to dig a proper hole and transport it in one frozen brick balanced on two sticks. As long as I don't step outside and get turtle-crocked, I'll be okay. Or maybe Shunka will find it and feast.
THE VIOLENT TURTLEHEAD
So wouldn't you know it but the first order of business after setting up the tent was to go off the ridge a bit and scrape out a hole to homebirth an angry and violent turtlehead. This newborn came in at 6.8 pounds, feisty with a fully functioning arm and hand as it reached out and tripped me up as I was walking away. And I heard a muffled chortle right before I fell.
THE FROZEN TURTLEHEAD
The normal non-Inuit turtlehead hates winter backpacking and the backpackers who do it, because since they regularly go from 100 degrees to zero(atop snow no less)in about one nano(nanal?)second--they hardly have time to survey their new kingdom before they are frozen solid. A completely frozen turtlehead though still lives and woe be to the idiot who picks up what seems to be a hard, solid wood-like object only later to find it to be, when thawed, a steaming, angry and pissed off human turd.
It's not a reptile, a frisbee or a polished chunk of knotwood, it's now a breathing, pulsating, unburied turtlehead, the worst kind. If discovered, drop immediately and call no one. Never shove soiled hands down into pants as the smell of a foreign turtlehead will elicit your own yet-unborn turtlehead to emerge from hiding to investigate in fighting form and possibly wanting intimate congress or abruptly posturing itself in a fight or flight response. If you have an alpha turtlehead buried in your shorts, be prepared for an all out fight to the death.
On the other hand, the flight response will drive your own turtlehead deeper and higher into your body, possibly up into your chest cavity or throat. Good luck. All this can be avoided by not backpacking in the winter, and if you do pick up a frozen turtlehead by mistake, don't be around when it thaws.
TO SHOVE OR NOT TO SHOVE
There's nothing as disturbing and yet as fulfilling as having to birth a combative and hysterical turtlehead into a cold morning snow and then having it look back at you with it's mournful brown eyes pleading to be reinserted and not left to freeze and be buried in a colon-less world. It takes a strong man to walk away from his own progeny and to become a dead beat Dad(dung-beat Dad?), and yet to placate, raise, retain and nurture one's own turd leads to distention, fecal impaction, severe lethargy and eventual unconsciousness. Better to have shoved and lost than to never have shoved at all.
Please no more on the Life Changing Spirituality of hiking the AT. Please no. I can't take it. Stop, stop. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Everything is in Walking Distance
Del Q:
It's been a long and quiet winter. Answer to your question....yeah, it's a work in progress. But it may be awhile. Thanks for asking.
Jack, it’d be interesting to read your historical perspective of Don West’s (1906-1992) influence on the AT hiking community.
http://www.northcarolinahistory.org/...edia/454/entry, Paragraph 6
http://en.metapedia.org/wiki/Highlander_Folk_School
http://folklifecenter.org/default.aspx
Stoned Flea maybe about hiking with a dog? Even make it thru the eyes of your dog.
Looking forward to a book from Balitmore Jack had no clue he was even thinking about putting something like that together.
The trouble I have with campfires are the folks that carry a bottle in one hand and a Bible in the other.
You never know which one is talking.
Bulloney. The topic is about books. Jack’s evidently writing one. I told him what I’d like to read. He’s a walking encyclopedia of trail knowledge, and the mountain of AT books to date don’t even scratch the surface. Plus I didn’t ask him to open the discussion here, but in his book. Don West had an impact on AT hikers, whether they realize it or not. It’s a valid historical topic for Jack’s book. Why’re you making an incendiary book-burning-ish statement like that? Stop the name-calling. I think you’re trolling for incendiary value.
How about a female perspective that doesn't involve tears. Or better yet, a book that captures the experience in its entirety. Less look at what I did and more of look at what I saw and the people I met. Or perhaps a collection of stories from different hikers with different perspectives.
for me at least, it's not just what a certain book is about, but the way it is written. i've read books on topics i don't even consider the least bit entertaining, but yet a certain writer's take on it - his/her angle - and the style of writing has made it more than interesting for me.
i've read a number of books on hiker accounts, and the ones i truly enjoy, and in some cases, absolutely love, are the ones that are written well and with an unusual style or sense of humor. and they might be the same type of story that has already been written hundreds of times.
that's why i think bryson's book was so popular - aside from the fact that he is well-know. he's a very good writer and people enjoy his work.
The bad books - and documentaries as well - come from people who simply don't know their craft. but that still doesn't mean they shouldn't go for it anyway and maybe, just maybe learn something along the way.
no one has ever re-invented the wheel, but it has been greatly improved over centuries, and it's because someone chose to take that wheel, and instead of altering it's function or purpose, made it either more easily accessible, acceptable, user friendly, or added a twist of something of their own.
everyone's book or documentary or song is going to be different than any of the others all of the time, because they will be written, or shot, or recorded by YOU and not someone else.
There's always an audience for anything.
by the way, is it just me, but in spite of all the great informative posts and discussion on this site, whiteblaze does a really good job of sucking the life out and killing the spirit of anything someone aspires to if too many people here have seen it/heard it/done it too many times?
THAT'S what really get old to me!
TV
Me too, with a dash of the absurd like Tipi’s turtleheads.
University archives are a surprisingly good source of info – recall how many people have posted to inquire about various aspects of the AT as a starting point for their academic research. If you know how to mine university archives, it’s a largely untapped gold mine for prospective authors. That’s where I discovered a remarkable and fascinating paper on the gent who this time shall remain unnamed, to keep the peace with Monkey.
It seems to me you're always looking for a dubious or negative slant. I have no idea but the most likely reason for relos is land is bought and has become protected. Former trail became eroded to the point maintenance was futile. It was taken off roads, or away from neighborhoods or dwellings. The relos have better views, new shelter area, water.
Mizerlou: In recent years I confess to not being much of a fan of the late Mr. West, but this was mainly for political reasons. As for his connections to, or his influence on the Trail, well this is certainly of interest to me and I'll check out the links you suggested. Thank you for sending them along.
The Vault has good stuff online if you use the right keyword search (or FOIA request if you can’t find it online.) NARA has the honey pot, with 2 microfilm research rooms near the Atlanta area. Dig deep, it’s there. There’s a preponderance of disinformation on the pop Internet, political and otherwise, to lead lesser authors astray.
Keeping it real:
http://vault.fbi.gov/
http://www.archives.gov/locations/
Besides Jack's book I would love to read one that detailed a conversation between 3 hikers. One from the early days, one from 20 years ago and a one who just finished. Hopefully the conversation would talk about the differences in their experiences (gear, the path of the trail, trail town experiences, etc...) and the similarities that they also experiences.
I think one chapter should be dedicated to "**** House Poetry"