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Thread: marriage

  1. #1
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    Default marriage

    I enjoy the outdoors. I think its important to get on the trail and out of civilization where you can only hear the sounds of the woods and see the sights of the woods.

    I've gone on many hikes in the woods, some with others, some by myself. I've recently come to the conclusion that I couldnt marry someone if I couldnt backpack with them for weeks at a time. I admire the ability to entertain yourself with only the company of another person, the ability to survive without cellphones, tv, the frugality of rationing food & staying clean in inconvienent conditions, to be able to rationalize all the fears and worries of animals attacks/storms/aloneness with peace, and most importantly, to be able to coexist with someone that doesnt grate on your every nerve after being with them for extended periods of time.

    I went on a multi day hike on the AT with my best friend in the whole world not too long ago. She and I have been through a lot together, but I was amazed at how many disagreements we had on our trip. We are able to still be friends in 'real life' but i will never attempt a trip like that with her again, haha.

    Has anyone else had the same experience, where you thought you knew somebody and after hiking with them you realized they're actually more of a dictator/villian/monster from a horror film instead of the sweet, fun loving person you used to know?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Glory View Post
    Has anyone else had the same experience, where you thought you knew somebody and after hiking with them you realized they're actually more of a dictator/villian/monster from a horror film instead of the sweet, fun loving person you used to know?
    Lucky for her she found out before she married you.

    The trouble I have with campfires are the folks that carry a bottle in one hand and a Bible in the other.
    You never know which one is talking.

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    Lightbulb My suggestion

    If you find that you enjoy being with someone to the point where you would consider marriage, but the two of you have no desire to backpack together (for WHATEVER reason), then make this simple choice: DON'T BACKPACK TOGETHER, even if you get married!

    Shuttle and I are about to celebrate our 29th anniversary (and I don't mean that we will NOTE the event, we're going to CELEBRATE it), even though (1) hiking the A.T. has been my one of my biggest passions for years and (2) we wouldn't last an hour together on the Trail. When we finally realized that we would BOTH have a grand time with me on the trail, and her doing anything BUT the trail, we found that being apart was a WONDERFUL way to bond! She drops you off, you do what you love, she does what she loves, you finish your hike, she picks you up, and then you two go back to -- well, you know. This can work for a series of day hikes OR as the book-ends of a multi-week backpack.

    You like to backpack, your lover doesn't? Make this the perfect combo!!
    Last edited by GoldenBear; 05-16-2012 at 13:43. Reason: Tighten up the wording

  4. #4

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    Most humans (and Americans) want hot showers and on-tap electricity---heck I'm suckling off the power teat as we speak---so it's hard to find loyal companions to live outdoors---either men or women. Get a dog.

    I don't know if a person's true nature comes out on a backpacking trip, but if someone doesn't want to be out or if they're salivating over a loved one back home or carrying out a load of worries, well, they'll whine and whimper and complain and puff out their cheeks like a blowfish with pineyes. Best go alone and pull your trips solo. Miss Nature cares only if you're outside, could care less if you drag someone with you.

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    Heck, Tipi, your 1111 images have to be doing something to the power teat (awesome image for us breast fetish guys. Can you say Woody Allen?). I'm very lucky when it comes to my wife. She does make sure I take my dog hiking with me as she worries about me being alone in the woods. As you can see, I also take my camera.
    I'm not really a hiker, I just play one on White Blaze.

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    Whoops, Photo included ...

    I'm not really a hiker, I just play one on White Blaze.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Blazer View Post
    Heck, Tipi, your 1111 images have to be doing something to the power teat (awesome image for us breast fetish guys. Can you say Woody Allen?). I'm very lucky when it comes to my wife. She does make sure I take my dog hiking with me as she worries about me being alone in the woods. As you can see, I also take my camera.
    I'm partly responsible for mountain top removal. It's called Hypocritical Compromise.

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    Registered User weary's Avatar
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    There's no better way to get to know a person than to backpack with them. Choose a difficult trip, if possible. Nothing's better than rain, cold, rocks and steep hills to make pretenses disappear.

  9. #9
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    Glory
    I am of the opinion that you're being unfair and unrealistic about your beloved
    What you're describing is by no means unique to hiking ; it's the result of two people who are in some kind of commited relationship be it business marriage or family being forced to be with each other 24/7/365
    If your beloved is a great as you say she is then take Golden Bear's suggestion and marry her But don't hike w/ her
    Btw
    I really hope that Finn and Fiona see this thread

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    My parents were together most of the day almost every day. They drove to work together, took breaks and lunch together, drove home together and spent evenings, weekends and vacations together. When my wife mentioned that as her ideal, I told her I'd probably strangle her within a month - if she didn't get me first.

    We've been married over 30 years now, still as happy as can be together. She has her interests, I have mine.

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    haha its interesting what I meant to say and what was actually understood by those who read this.

    I'm a girl and I went hiking with my old college roommate who is also a girl. She's still my best friend, but the experience we had together on the trail was not a good one. She kept calling her husband and talking about how much she missed him, let her dog harrass other hikers, was extremely neurotic about the dark and melted down several times after hearing twigs snap in the distance. She was just not comfortable in the outdoors, which is fine...different strokes for different folks.

    I guess i was just romanticizing/speculating about how one day when i hopefully find someone, I'd have to take them out on the trail for a long time because I think you learn SOOOO much about a person just by being put in the backpacking/hiking situation. I agree its good to have different interests to keep a relationship interesting, but i just know for myself I think i'd require that intimacy of being able to survive a trail together.

  12. #12

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    I always thought canoeing was a good way to judge the character of your significant other. Get them out on open water, run into a bush full of locusts, paddle against the wind, etc. If you can survive that you can stand the test of time... that is, until one of you starts snoring.

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    Ever watch the show "The Amazing Race", the reality TV show where teams of two people race around the world? I am always amazed at how badly some people behave with their partner whereas other teams always maintain a positive attitude (of course this being "reality TV", I'm sure the produces like the conflict as it generates ratings). My wife suggested that it's only natural that people behave badly when they are tired and stressed out by the rigors of the race. My point was that being tired and stressed doesn't make you mean and nasty, it only reveals your true nature.

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    I'm super lucky to have a girl that loves to backpack! She even enjoys watching gear videos with me haha

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Glory View Post
    I guess i was just romanticizing/speculating about how one day when i hopefully find someone, I'd have to take them out on the trail for a long time because I think you learn SOOOO much about a person just by being put in the backpacking/hiking situation. I agree its good to have different interests to keep a relationship interesting, but i just know for myself I think i'd require that intimacy of being able to survive a trail together.
    Yeah, I agree you can learn a lot about a person while hiking/camping. Unfortunately, you only learn how they deal with those specific circumstances. Put them in other circumstances, like everyday life, and you may learn something different. Just saying, don't romanticize too much about the hiking/camping experience, it's only one aspect of life together.

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    It's the one place my wife and I do get along.

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    My wife is the only person I've hiked with that makes LESS work for me! Check out her AT piece:

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    Quote Originally Posted by weary View Post
    There's no better way to get to know a person than to backpack with them. Choose a difficult trip, if possible. Nothing's better than rain, cold, rocks and steep hills to make pretenses disappear.
    No thanks. I know my wife and I know she would hate it. I'm happily married and I plan on keeping it that way. To that end, I will never go on an extended backpacking trip with my wife. We have a lot in common. We take day hikes together 3-5 times a week. We take snowboarding trips together. We canoe together. I paddle and she sunbathes. (As it should be.) We both love the outdoors and all is right in the world. But she is not up for roughing it in the woods. Father-son thing in my world.
    Daddy made whiskey and he made it well.
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  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Odd Man Out View Post
    My point was that being tired and stressed doesn't make you mean and nasty, it only reveals your true nature.
    The whole point of BUDs training and . . . . marriage.

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    My husband and I went on a week hike in Slickrock for our 10th anniversary. I was a bit nervous at the idea, wondering how we would be seeing that we hadn't done a long hike together. We had a blast. Can't wait to do a long AT hike together...hopefully not waiting another 10 years.

    When people stop bitching at everything that goes wrong, and just enjoy the moment, anything can be grand.

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