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  1. #101
    Super Moderator Marta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country Roads View Post

    This is just another observation that I have made: I see more solo women backpackers than solo men backpackers, just sayin'.
    Funny. About ten or twelve years ago I was visiting my parents in Santa Fe. I was heading out for my first hike on the then-new Dale Ball Trails. My mother was horrified. I was courting death and dismemberment, at least, she said. It just wasn't safe for women to hike alone.

    I went for my hike. Every other hiker I met was a solo female. No males. No one hiking with a partner or group.

    The imaginations of nonhikers are quite at variance with reality.
    If not NOW, then WHEN?

    ME>GA 2006
    http://www.trailjournals.com/entry.cfm?trailname=3277

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  2. #102
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    Hi Karma --I can empathize with the no-brains invisibility of being 50! I run and despite finishing strong and definitely not at the end of the pack , I still get people telling me I've done well for my age.

    This thread makes me feel as if my goals are definitely doable regardless of my age and/or gender.

    One Old Goat

  3. #103
    Registered User Karma13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneoldgoat View Post
    Hi Karma --I can empathize with the no-brains invisibility of being 50! I run and despite finishing strong and definitely not at the end of the pack , I still get people telling me I've done well for my age.
    Seriously! "for your age" is one of those phrases that ought to be drop-kicked out of the language. Well... 'for your [anything],' really. There's pretty much no context in which it's not at least marginally insulting, with the possible exception of medicine.

    Ah, well. I'm sure I was a tool when I was younger, too.

    Edited to add: I think we're neighbors, OneOldGoat. I'm in Norristown.

  4. #104
    Registered User SassyWindsor's Avatar
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    Girls, patronizing comes by way of forums also. Be very careful when private messaging with anyone you don't know. My PM with anyone is disabled, yet for some reason, I still ocassionally get attempts to "private chat" with someone on this forum. I respectively decline.

  5. #105
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    I am very careful about private chat. But then I am older. When I was doing the Superior a guy on the site from my state contacted me PM. He could not have been more helpful on tips or more courteous. He was offering legit tips for a great hike on the Superior Hiking Trail. I trusted my gut on that PM and it was correct. He is happily married and his advice really helped our group on our hike.

  6. #106
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    I took the time to read the thread and honestly I cannot think of a time I got angry at a comment or offer of advice from a male hiker. I am 50 and short and get underestimated but I have also asked guys for help to fix my filter or how to really hang a bear bag. I don't know everything about hiking and I know it.
    On our section, our group really got razzed by a female section hiker as in we were idiots if we carried this or that. She shamed one of my friends into not taking her sunglasses in leaf off April. Way different than the thru females we met at Elmer's that helped us sort what to take and what not. We had our own trail name for this woman. It was not nice. We still laugh about her. The last time we saw her she was headed to Miss Janet's with her ipod and sunglasses. She was a real b*** to pull a stunt like that on a bunch of newbie section hikers from the mid-west.

  7. #107
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    [QUOTE=Erin;1353180]I took the time to read the thread and honestly I cannot think of a time I got angry at a comment or offer of advice from a male hiker. I am 50 and short and get underestimated but I have also asked guys for help to fix my filter or how to really hang a bear bag. I don't know everything about hiking and I know it.
    On our section, our group really got razzed by a female section hiker as in we were idiots if we carried this or that. She shamed one of my friends into not taking her sunglasses in leaf off April. Way different than the thru females we met at Elmer's that helped us sort what to take and what not. We had our own trail name for this woman. It was not nice. We still laugh about her. The last time we saw her she was headed to Miss Janet's with her ipod and sunglasses. She was a real b*** to pull a stunt like that on a bunch of newbie section hikers from the mid-west.[/QUOTE

    ....the great majority of hikers I've met on the AT are nice folks. But hike the AT long enough and I think we've all discovered that the "blue-flame specials" come from both genders. I've met people from both genders that get under your skin with their commentary or criticisms. It's especially irritating when it occurs at the end of a long hiking day upon arrival at a shelter. I've walked up to a shelter at the end of a long day and felt like I was arriving at the "Spanish inquisition" or an interrogation at a POW camp, or pretty much told to move on. comments like this I've heard on arrival at shelters:

    "where the hell U from? " ... "why U carryin' that?" ... "This shelter's full, next shelter's 8 Miles" ..."we did 24 today, how many did U do?" ... "no camping allowed , next campsite is 3 miles" "this shelter is reserved for a Private party, so U can't stay here"

    and for Vermont, I'm getting a tshirt for next year that says in big letters: "I'M STRAIGHT"

    nuff said

  8. #108
    Registered User SassyWindsor's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Praha4;1353517]
    Quote Originally Posted by Erin View Post
    ............. comments like this I've heard on arrival at shelters:

    "where the hell U from? " ... "why U carryin' that?" ... "This shelter's full, next shelter's 8 Miles" ..."we did 24 today, how many did U do?" ... "no camping allowed , next campsite is 3 miles" "this shelter is reserved for a Private party, so U can't stay here".............
    just more reasons to stay away from shelters, all shelters.

  9. #109
    Registered User Theosus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marta View Post

    Is it just me? Am I particularly helpless/clueless-looking? Or do a lot of male hikers try to pump themselves up by giving unsolicited patronizing advice to every woman they run into? Or do they give lots of patronizing advice to male hikers as well?

    Share your stories!
    men are not exempt...
    It happened to me on my first trip. One guy was very experienced and was constantly giving "helpful hints" which sort of devolved into "you're not doing it right". I understand trying to help people, but it seems unless someone says, "I wonder how this could be better?" or "would you help with...?" its best to just let them figure it out.
    Please don't read my blog at theosus1.Wordpress.com
    "I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. Thank God for Search and Rescue" - Robert Frost (first edit).

  10. #110
    Registered User Nutbrown's Avatar
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    Default A new one for me!

    I took my daughter for her 1st overnight hike at Hanging Rock SP in NC this weekend, just the 2 of us. The hike was a figure 8, with a campground in the middle. After the 1st day's hike, we lumbered into camp about 45 min before sunset, and I got a fire ready with kindling, then pulled out my alcohol stove and started making dinner. When the ranger drove around, I got 2 piles of wood, and went to light up the fire. Well, at the site next to us was a group of men and boys, watching everything. As I was finishing lighting the fire, which took about one minute, one of the men from across the street came to ask if I needed help lighting the fire. 'No thanks, I said, I'm a professional.' Then another one of the men came back with a few pieces of wood. They were extremely nice and I thanked them graciously.

    This was all very chivalrous, and I do understand that I'm in the south, and that is the polite thing to do.... they also offered hot coffee and hot chocolate for my girl. BUT, I was able to tell my girl that sometimes men think women need more help that we really do...for whatever reason. The whole situation kind of made me giggle though.

  11. #111
    Registered User Old Hiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nutbrown View Post
    I took my daughter for her 1stovernight hike at Hanging Rock SP in NC this weekend, just the 2 of us. Thehike was a figure 8, with a campground in the middle. After the 1st day's hike,we lumbered into camp about 45 min before sunset, and I got a fire ready withkindling, then pulled out my alcohol stove and started making dinner. When theranger drove around, I got 2 piles of wood, and went to light up the fire.Well, at the site next to us was a group of men and boys, watching everything.As I was finishing lighting the fire, which took about one minute, one of themen from across the street came to ask if I needed help lighting the fire. 'Nothanks, I said, I'm a professional.' Then another one of the men came back witha few pieces of wood. They were extremely nice and I thanked them graciously.

    This was all very chivalrous, and I do understand that I'm in the south, and that is the polite thing to do.... they also offered hot coffee and hotchocolate for my girl. BUT, I was able to tell my girl that sometimes men thinkwomen need more help that we really do...for whatever reason. The wholesituation kind of made me giggle though.
    On behalf of chivalrous men (or at least me), thanks so much for not belittling the guys who were trying to do what their moms, grandmoms and dads taught them. I hope they learned that not ALL women need to be helped, but they still need to make the effort to ask. I'll bet at least 2 of them were saying to themselves, "Now why can't my wife do that?"


    One of the main ways to "be a man" in former times was to be able to take care of your woman and family. That has changed, for better or worse - another argument, another thread. All I can say to you ladies who take offense at me and my brethren who were brought up to be polite to women - wait a while. We're dying out and will be gone in a few decades.
    Old Hiker
    AT Hike 2012 - 497 Miles of 2184
    AT Thru Hiker - 29 FEB - 03 OCT 2016 2189.1 miles
    Just because my teeth are showing, does NOT mean I'm smiling.
    Hányszor lennél inkább máshol?

  12. #112
    Registered User ighwoman's Avatar
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    Perhaps patronizing advice is not limited by the gender of the advisor, but almost exclusively, cross gender patronizing advice is limited to the male gender. Very few outdoorswomen would want or need to be patronizing to a man. But men have been socialized to believe that they are superior to women in almost all circumstances, so patronizing is the most natural approach to take with a woman, regardless of her skillsets or evidenced accomplishments. Sorry guys, the truth hurts; but your patronizing us HURTS too.

  13. #113
    Registered User Karma13's Avatar
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    +1, and well said. Thank you!

  14. #114
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    I am 51, and while growing up, I never once had someone teach me that men were superior to women. Even if society as a whole did teach that back in the day, it has rapidly swung in the other direction. Just look at the tv ads and shows denigrating men, and how helpless and stupid they are without women around. I like to think of men and women as people, not gender, so I totally agree that condescending and patronizing attitudes are totally uncalled for! If someone looks like they need help, then we should help, otherwise, keep our noses out of it unless asked!

  15. #115

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    i am a southern boy so i grew up respecting women and treating them with reverence. here's the best advice my mother ever gave me about women: men desire two things more than almost anthing else - money and (you know) - and women control 50% of one and 100% of the other so you'd better appreciate them. oh, and she owns a cabin in polebridge, too!

  16. #116
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    I learned to hang a bear bag PCT style from a woman half my age on the AT this year. And I've done the PCT and never heard of it! I use it all the time now.
    Everything is in Walking Distance

  17. #117
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    Bamboo Bob, would you consider coming down to NOC the third weekend of January. 2013, to teach me, 14 years old when you were born, how to do the PCT bear bag hang?
    You never know just what you can do until you realize you absolutely have to do it.
    --Salaun

  18. #118
    Registered User Nutbrown's Avatar
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    There are a few good videos on youtube showing how the PCT method is done. It's kind of obvious after you see it.

  19. #119
    Registered User SassyWindsor's Avatar
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    Why have a separate female forum when a lot of comments here are from guys. Why not just have one regular forum. This really is silly.

  20. #120
    GA-ME 2011
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    So men can't post here too?

    I hold doors open for ladies, offer my seat on a bus and let them go first.

    Sorry.
    "Chainsaw" GA-ME 2011

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