Guilt

[cliffordbarnabus]

physical proximinity is overrated. if love is indeed as powerful (assuming it even exists) as people comfort themselves to believe, surely it can transcend...and might even be strengthened by... "x" miles of separation.

incidentally, it can be argued that nothing is selfless...

[lkn4air]

I have just started to tell everyone in my life that I am hking the trail in 2013. I was really a bit nervous about telling some of them. I had a little of that guilt feeling but made the decision I had to do it now. I have some medical reasons that make it important to do it now and my friends and family have been nothing but supportive and are excited for me to do it. They do think it is a bit crazy!!! You have to make the decesion for yourself but its not like your going to the moon, people take jobs that take them away from their families for much longer periods of time.


HYOH

[Dogwood]

Not saying they are wrong believing what they believe, but ohh, how I would soo enjoy being there when the folks who said hiking is a vacation a pleasure start complaining, become depressed, grouchy, negative, are mentally and physically spent, drenched from four days of heavy non-stop rain, have to put their toasty toes in cold frozen shoes in the morning to hike, wandering around lost and disoriented, limping with aches and pains, applying their creams and pain relieving lotions, popping Vit I, etc etc etc so I can remind them of their words.

[Lone Wolf]

Not saying they are wrong believing what they believe, but ohh, how I would soo enjoy being there when the folks who said hiking is a vacation a pleasure start complaining, become depressed, grouchy, negative, are mentally and physically spent, drenched from four days of heavy non-stop rain, have to put their toasty toes in cold frozen shoes in the morning to hike, wandering around lost and disoriented, limping with aches and pains, applying their creams and pain relieving lotions, popping Vit I, etc etc etc so I can remind them of their words.

it's still just a vacation. i've done 5 thru-hikes and never walked 4 days in heavy non-stop rain. only a fool does that. i'm smart enuf to stay holed up.

[Don H]

Lots of people quit because of a spouse or boy/girl friend pressured them to.

[Nuwanda]

I'm struggling with this as well. I decided to Nobo in 2013, and once I began sharing this information I received a lot of positive support from the people around me EXCEPT my parents. They see this as another crazy adventure I've schemed up for myself and wonder why in the hell I can't just have a good job and settle down in one spot. My current job has lots of benefits, namely a great health care package. They think I'm a fool for walking away from that, so I'm back on the fence because of my guilt.

[max patch]

Not saying they are wrong believing what they believe, but ohh, how I would soo enjoy being there when the folks who said hiking is a vacation a pleasure start complaining, become depressed, grouchy, negative, are mentally and physically spent, drenched from four days of heavy non-stop rain, have to put their toasty toes in cold frozen shoes in the morning to hike, wandering around lost and disoriented, limping with aches and pains, applying their creams and pain relieving lotions, popping Vit I, etc etc etc so I can remind them of their words.

Its a vacation. No more, no less.

If hiking did to me what it apparently does to you I'd find another way to spend my leisure time.

[atmilkman]

Weather or not its a selfish act is irrelevant. You will either handle it or not. If you do go and you feel guilty about it that will ruin your trip and it will eat at you till you quit. Everyone has hurdles to overcome before they go and this is one of yours.

You are wise beyond your year.

[Karma13]

Its a vacation. No more, no less.

For some it's a vacation. For some it's a pilgrimage. It's different for everybody, I imagine. For me personally, it's enormously more than a simple vacation.

[BrianLe]

Guilt sort of builds into it the idea that you should be doing something else, that the lack of you being there will degrade the life experience of one or more others in some significant way.
Will it? It will change it; whether or not it cleanly degrades it is something else entirely.

I think my wife gets a lot out of having extended periods of having the house --- and her life --- entirely to herself, then we really enjoy reuniting afterwards.

I guess the other aspect of guilt might be if it's (objectively) important that you be doing specific things that you can't do on trail --- making/saving money, specific at-home chores, being there for one or more important family events, etc.

For me, at least, it's helpful to follow through a vague feeling of guilt to map it onto the specific "bad things" (if any really) that are implied by the feeling. Then address (really think through) those specific things. Hopefully the result is an ability to hike guilt-free, or to realize that the issues behind the guilt are such that the trip should be deferred.

[Nean]

Life is a vacation, then you die. The trail is more physical and mental than many will ever experience from their jobs. But then the rewards are often greater. If you measure your life buy making money and when your not- thats a vacation, so be it. Backpacking long distance takes money, but money doesnt buy the commitment it takes. Unless you have your head right, stay at the casa.

[bamboo bob]

Its a vacation. No more, no less.

If hiking did to me what it apparently does to you I'd find another way to spend my leisure time.

Ditto to that. Certainly those of us who keep going back feel it's a fun time. I understand that those who got knocked off for one reason or another might not agree. But I do think it's a vacation. A cheap one at that. You can remind me as much as you want. It is not paradise every minute but certainly most of the time it is just that.

[Nean]

If people who play sports didn't get paid that would also be a vacation. The Olympics are a bunch of spoiled brats on vacation, thats why theyre called Games. It is also hard to find one who says the experience wasnt a blast. People can look at it or phrase it any way they want. Depending on many factors the experince is unique to the individual, but some will assume what it was like for them is what it is for everyone.

[imscotty]

Testing the waters of my Thru-hike aspirations, I sent the link of this thread to my wife. She does not share my interest in this sort of activity. This is what she had to say...

"Yes, I could relate to the posts. My reply is to make sure you make it up to
those whose lives may be negatively affected. And inviting them along is def not the answer. You need to understand what their goals or ambitions are and help them achieve it"

Sounds like a thru-hike may be possible in my future after the kids are grown. Also sounds like I'm going to pay for it

[coach lou]

Quote from the former Mrs. Coach Lou........."Louis, I'm NOT your Wilderness woman"

[MDSection12]

Well circumstances unrelated to my guilt seem to be pushing my thru attempt to 2015...

[bardo]

Guilt sort of builds into it the idea that you should be doing something else, that the lack of you being there will degrade the life experience of one or more others in some significant way.
Will it? It will change it; whether or not it cleanly degrades it is something else entirely.

That is an interesting perspective. Native Americans seen long journeys in the wild as a need, a rite of passage and essential.

Hiking is living. Or the contrast it provides is living. Mindlessly chugging through 21st century boredom between trips to disneyland in the hopes you have a few years of decent health after retirement until you croak is the vacation. The vacation from living, growing, learning and thinking.

[coach lou]

Well circumstances unrelated to my guilt seem to be pushing my thru attempt to 2015...

You can still enjoy big sections. Guilt Free

[HermesUL]

At some level, at some point in your life, you need to do something that is entirely about you. Sure, its important to spend much of your life thinking about other people and spending time focused on family, but if you never spend any time at all focusing on yourself then what is the point of living?

I've made it clear to the people in my life that backpacking long distances is a fundamental part of who I am. It's part of who I'll always be, even when I'm no longer able to go on big trips. Maybe that's a character flaw, but so be it. I know for sure its not going to change no matter what anyone says. Don't squander something so important to you on the grounds of selfishness.

And, of course, if it doesn't end up working out, then go home!

["Atlas"]

I like the conversation of GUILT. It is an interesting idea. I started my hike last year while separated from my wife, but I did leave my kids. They are all late teens and are encouraging. I felt guilt. Guilt that I wasnt going to be around for my kids during this chaotic time in everyones life. I needed to clear my head and hiking several hundred miles will give a man time to clear his head. I came home from the Trail early due to a car wreck involving my girls. Talk about GUILT. But I also came back a better man for having attempted the Thru-Hike. I am heading back out this Spring, from where I left to finish the Hike. Will I feel GUILT? Probably, I will be leaving behind my responsibilities to my children. But by me taking away there safety net for a few months, I am allowing them to fall and to pick themselves up, to work together and overcome their own challenges.