Advice on hiking with someone of the opposite sex?

[Rightfoot]

While I have not thru hiked, I have completed all but 75 miles of the trail in longer sections. Many of these miles were with my wife who loves to hike but also enjoys a bed, shower, her razor and a decent meal. If your plans and funds allow, I would suggest occasional nero's or zero's at some of the better hostels. The breakfast provided at Mountain Harbor Hostel on a rainy morning went a long way for sure....

[SassyWindsor]

It's difficult to find any group that will stick together long enough to finish a long distance hike. It's hard enough to finish just by yourself.

[Dogwood]

Personally, I wouldn't plan a thru-hike WITH ANYONE until I knew we had compatible hiking styles/philosophies, tolerance and adaptability levels, etc. Double that consideration with a significant other. As Sassy Windsor says , it's(CAN BE) hard enough to finish just by yourself." It CAN BE harder when someone else is intimately involved. I've seen couples thrive together on thru-hikes and I've seen couples have their relationships really strained and eventually snap on thru-hikes. Both of you need to communicate well, possibly have a high tolerance level in regards to a great many issues, be patient, be considerate of each other, and have a high degree of flexibility/adaptability. Both of you individually should be able to adapt to living outside of your current comfort zones for an extended duration. VERY OFTEN, thru-hiker wannabes can't address this until the boots are on the ground dealing with all the things that thru-hiking entails. For just one person completing their own solo AT thru-hike I think it takes a high degree of all those things. Now, it has to be doubled or tripled with both of you doing a duo thru-hike. You and the GF need to be honest with yourselves and each other with respect to your goals, individual character traits, and strength of your relationship, PRE-HIKE!

Thru-hiking with the opposite sex is one thing. Thru-hiking with a significant other is another animal. It could work well enriching both your thru-hikes by sharing the experience bringing the two of you closer OR, uhh, syonara. Personally, if one or both of you are approaching thruing the AT as achieving a lifetime dream, I think each of you need to carefully prepare for the possibility of one of you having to go on by yourself IF one of you should decide that thru-hiking isn't for you. I know you mean well inviting the GF along but this possibility should be addressed up front, as I think it should be with any two people thru-hiking together.

You could give thru-hiking together a shot and if it's not working for either or one of you be willing to communicate that to each other, NICELY! Be ready to adapt your hiking together to see how it CAN work for both of you.

[Hatteras Jack]

Just came back to this post after posting it last night. Thanks for all the advice! I'll definitely take all of it into account. The nature of the relationship is, uh, confusing. We dated for a couple years but went our own ways. In short I messed it up. Anyways, we've kind of moved past that and we had always talked about thru hiking. She had given me the idea years back and it stuck in my head. So once I planned my trip I asked her if she was coming too. And she is! We're best friends, just a lot of stuff has happened in between. Her desire to finish is unmatched. I just hope I can keep up. She's been doing field work in Madagascar and Utah since May, hiking all over the place. Meanwhile I've been collecting moss in grad school.

[bigcranky]

The additional info helps. In this case I would start out as if I were hiking with my regular hiking partner, not my wife. That is, each person has a complete, separate gear load, totally self-contained. If, as the hike progresses, you find you are compatible hiking partners and the romantic part flares up again, then you can see about getting a larger tent, as it were.

[VTATHiker]

A little moss from grad school's nothing to worry about... this past year I shook mine off by the time I got out of the 100 Miles Wilderness. Good luck and enjoy!

[tf bear]

As a couple. It is wise to hike with others as well. That way it is not always just the two of you. It gives other options during the day of who to talk to. A little separation time is always welcome.

[takethisbread]

Sounds inevitable that you will be doing the horizontal belly smash. You dig her, you dig other ladies bc you are a guy, and u screwed up. I get it. After y'all have coitus, I'm feelings will result, it may get uncomfortable, she may hook up with another 1,000 miles in after a huge night st the Doyle, how you gonna feel? It might knock u off the trail . Risky. 20% chance this is a good idea depending in how amazing she looks

[Hatteras Jack]

takethisbread, I really enjoy your post. I laughed my ass off because it's pretty damn true. Also the one that's made me think the most. We've talked about still having feelings for each other but, like everything with women, it's complicated.

[chief]

Hatteras Jack, never, ever talk about feelings with an ex. It's like waving a white flag.

[hikingshoes]

I'd let her lead and set the pace,and be up front with her on how many days your hiking until you hit a town. I ,miss my lady friend who hiked with me but thats water under the bridge. HS

[soulrebel]

Sounds like fun, but be prepared for her to get a lot of male attention. I'm married and had to tell several guys that they're going to far with the come-ons and that I'd leave them under a pile of rocks if they kept it up. of course we're still friends with them... haha Hiking with a female is a bit of a commodity on the trail... By the way, what does she look like? can she cook? hikes all day? maybe I can help.

[daddytwosticks]

The real question...what does she look like in a pair of Crocs?

[bigcranky]

The real question...what does she look like in a pair of Crocs?

All hiker chicks look terrific in a pair of crocs and a bandana over their hair. By definition.

[lemon b]

I have always perfered hiking alone. My pace is unique.

[canoehead]

Have fun...

[Miami Joe]

My wife hikes faster than me. She lets me lead...but I still carry all the ****. Seriously, I have no frame of reference here because I made sure to marry a lady who loves to backpack.

[The Solemates]

my wife and i hike together all the time - and we did the trail together - and I am 14 inches taller than she is so our strides are completely different. she leads, but she rarely slows me down. not sure how she does it. we only carry one cook pot, one water filter, one stove, share our meals, share a tent, and oftentimes even share a sleeping bag, draped over us as a quilt.

hiking together lets you go lighter and is more enjoyable for us. doing this with the wrong person, however, could be miserable.

[VTATHiker]

Thank you takethisbread. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. Spot on advice, too.

[Chaco Taco]

wife and I hiked and continue to hike together. Tough at first, but secret is to have lots of sex, seriously, avoid the shelters.