Is it selfish for married person to do thur-hike?

[KingGator and Sons]

no he did not compromise.
miracle of mindfulness by thich naht hanh is available in pdf format(i cant post the link to the pdf, but if you just google it youll find it). to understand fully what ive tried to explain in a few sentences,read the first few chapters.
i teach goal setting at work, and you can have more than one goal, and achieve them, you just have to define and prioritize those goals, then develop a game plan to achieve them.it doesnt mean sacrificing one goal for another. it means finding the balance.
and yes, you are very lucky to have a wife willing to let you get out of her hair for 6 months.
its all good

I feel you. You make sense, I just can't seem to get over the "letting you get out" part. I guess it's just my personality and youth that causes me to think this way. It took her 32 years to find a man like me and I find it hard to believe that she would be willing to throw it away just because she doesn't want me to walk in the park. I just don't get it I guess. I know there are plenty of men out there, but that doesn't mean that ANY OF THEM would be worth throwing away all of this because of her disagreement. In essence, if she left the relationship, it would be her choice. If she made that choice, it would be HER loss. I am not choosing to end our relationship, Im choosing to hike in the park. If that is a deal breaker for her, good luck with your new set of cards. Something tells me she would crap out.

[hikerboy57]

I feel you. You make sense, I just can't seem to get over the "letting you get out" part. I guess it's just my personality and youth that causes me to think this way. It took her 32 years to find a man like me and I find it hard to believe that she would be willing to throw it away just because she doesn't want me to walk in the park. I just don't get it I guess. I know there are plenty of men out there, but that doesn't mean that ANY OF THEM would be worth throwing away all of this because of her disagreement. In essence, if she left the relationship, it would be her choice. If she made that choice, it would be HER loss. I am not choosing to end our relationship, Im choosing to hike in the park. If that is a deal breaker for her, good luck with your new set of cards. Something tells me she would crap out.

enough about you.
why did you choose HER?

[KingGator and Sons]

enough about you.
why did you choose HER?

Because she will let me thru-hike if I choose to

[rocketsocks]

Because she will let me thru-hike if I choose to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCcuF4H6TIY

what makes a muskrat gard his musk...Courage!

[hikerboy57]

Because she will let me thru-hike if I choose to

good answer

[hikerboy57]

Because she will let me thru-hike if I choose to

wait-did you say "let you"?

[OzJacko]

Because she will let me thru-hike if I choose to

If I recall your comments in your videos and blogs correctly, it took some time for that to be the case.

[KingGator and Sons]

wait-did you say "let you"?

LOL!! It was a joke......lol...

[KingGator and Sons]

If I recall your comments in your videos and blogs correctly, it took some time for that to be the case.

Took some time for me to choose to hike, yes, but not some time for me to get her to "let me"....It took time to truly use the JEDI to convince her that the kids would be safe.

[KingGator and Sons]

It simply took educating her and letting her know that I will have plenty with me to protect them.

[perdidochas]

We don't know why his wife has an issue with him hiking the trail for more than 1 week at a time. It may be b/c she has a fear of him getting hurt or something worse. I do not think that we should even go there.. it's pointless.

When you get married, IMHO, you give up the right to think only of yourself. You've entered into a covenant with someone else, in which you no longer consider only yourself. They've got your back, and you've got the other person's back.
When you don't see eye to eye on things- (conflict will happen) that's when you get down & dirty to work it out. A couple's ability to work out conflict is the stuff a good marriage is made of.....Conflict is NOT the problem, if you are mostly compatible to begin with... Working through conflict is the bomb!!

Exactly...........

[Dogwood]

Is it selfish for married person to do a thru-hike?

Only you are in the position to effectively respond to that question. It is after all YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Another endless loop question with NO DEFINITIVE general right for all answer.

[Dogwood]

"Conflict is NOT the problem, if you are mostly compatible to begin with... Working through conflict is the bomb!"

Hiker Mom is really Dr Phil. Good stuff.

[stranger]

No it's not

[Bronk]

Just turn the tables on your wife. Tell her it is completely altruistic because you are hiking to raise money for a children's charity and tell her she is just being selfish and if she doesn't let you go then she hates children. You can probably even get a lot of sponsors so you will be able to hike for free. If you have any money left after the hike just find some charity to give it to.

Seriously though, it is totally selfish...but what is wrong with that? No more selfish than her wanting you to stay home with her...if you do end up going keep in mind that someday she's going to call in the debt and ask for something HUGE because something like this is a huge undertaking of both time and money...not just the money on equipment and what you will spend on the trail, but also of lost income...especially if you leave her holding the bag to pay the bills and handle everything while you are gone.

Ask yourself how you'd react if the roles were reversed...what if she suddenly decided she wanted to go on a missionary trip to Africa for 6 months without you?

[litefoot2000]

My wife thinks it is selfish for a married person to want to do a thur-hike. I have done 1930 mi. so for hiking no more than a week at a time. This has to be the hardest way to do the AT. Anyone else been told this is selfish?

Well, I guess I am lucky. My wife was actually the one who re-kindled the old dream of my thru hiking. She was very supportive.

[BostonBlue]

I believe that if you follow your dreams, you actually become a better person and are able to give more of yourself. Do you really want to come to the end of your life without realizing your dream? Because few hikers in their 70s are able to physically finish a thru.

Marriage is about compromise and about the dreams of both parties. WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE DESIRE? Would a new car or a vacation with her sister while you are gone do the trick? Ask her. Let her know how important this is to you and then ask her to think of anything that you could give her that would fulfill a dream of HERS - which would allow you to accomplish your dream. And then make it happen.

[MuddyWaters]

Yes its selfish
So what
People are selfish
All of them
Some just have more backbone than others

[SassyWindsor]

Just lie to your wife that you're going down to Argentina to visit an old friend.

[Capt Nat]

My wife thinks it's selfish to stay home and aggrivate her everyday...