Kids...with or without? Planning a NOBO '14 Thru Hike

[Hill Ape]

105_105.jpg

miss you little man.... kid was a natural born hillbilly. i won't be back to this thread, i have a feeling OP was sort of trolling. she hit alot of raw nerves with people. picture was taken at mountaintown creek in ellijay ga, just a few weeks before the accident. last time he walked with me. he was pissed i didn't bring a fishing pole.

[max patch]

I don't think the OP is a troll. The OP posted once before - 5 years ago or so when they announced their thru - and like many of us want to do it again. I think it was a honest question by someone who has their priorities in the wrong place. The trail will still be there be waiting for them in 13 years.

[Lemni Skate]

I always wanted to be a head football coach at a high school. I was good assistant and j.v. coach (46 wins, 4 losses over 5 seasons). I was applying for jobs and felt I would soon have one, when my daughter was born. As soon as I held her, I became torn about my dream to be a head football coach. I knew it would take a lot of time away from my family, not a big deal when my wife and I were both pursuing our career dreams, but suddenly a little one made a lot of difference. I was talking about those feelings with my father and he said a sentence that changed my life, "When you get to be my age, you'll never regret any time you spent with your kids." My priorities changed. I quit coaching altogether for a good long while and really spent time raising my kids (my son, believe it or not, has never shown any interest in playing football). When my daughter turned 11 I found out she could run forever (maybe because she was in shape from so much hiking) and fast. To make a long story, short: I'm the CROSS COUNTRY coach at my high school and I've turned the program around. I've very happy with what I do and proud of myself, too. On Friday nights, I watch the football games and sometimes silently tell myself how much better I would have been as the head coach than the guys out there, but I really have no regrets. I've got 16 and 13 year old kids for whom I could fill up a post listing their accomplishments, but the main thing is, I have been there for everything for them. They adore me almost as much as I adore them and they both WANT TO THRU HIKE with Dad in eight more years when I retire. I really don't expect them to be able to do the hike with me, I know at 24 and 21 they'll be starting careers, getting married and whatever else, but just knowing they'd like to and MAYBE one or both of them can (or at least do some) and it's not going to be something I chose for them makes me feel good.

My suggestion, spend this time taking the little guy on some shorter backpacking trips (heck three miles out and set up camp is fine) and make sure he has a blast. Turn over rocks in the streams and look for crawdads, fly fish a little, make some smores, tell some stories, whatever. In five or six years, if you've made great memories like that it's possible he'll be begging you to take him on a thru.

[flemdawg1]

I just got back from Shenandoah NP after a week of hiking and camping with my kids. My wife and I had previously thought about taking the trip without them, we're really glad we didn't. My advice to you would be to either do section hikes until they can join you for a TH or alternate THs. Yes you might have to put off your dream, but your child will always know you're there for them.

[Slo-go'en]

I don't see what the big deal is.

It's not like the kid is a baby or toddler which needs constant attention. The kid is going to being looked after, not abandoned on the streets. Gezz. And who knows, maybe living at the friends for the summer might be benifical.

And we all know the chances of them actually being away for 6 months is a long shot. But I guess I got to agree, the timing isn't great. Unless there are strong compeling reasons to take the trip next year, it might be best to wait a few more years until your son is more self suficent. And maybe old enough to come along.

[Lone Wolf]

pretty simple. you chose to have a kid. stay home and raise that child. your little dream of walkin' the trail can wait. thru-hikin' the AT ain't all that anyway

[Feral Bill]

You might ask any of our veterans returning from long and multiple deployments what they think about missing big chunks of their kids lives.

[chief]

Poor hippy kid doesn't stand a chance

[tophatxj]

You're a ****ing scumbag to even consider something like this.
Ditch your kid for 6 months so you can **** off and "live your dream" for 6 months or force him to walk through the woods for 6 months for your pleasure.

5 years old are you ****ting me?

I'd like to say more, but don't want to be banned.

[tophatxj]

At second thought, the kid might be better off being raised by someone else anyway.

Go ahead on your hike it might be the only chance your kid has at a responsible upbringing.

[rickb]

Yikes.

Not so much for the original poster, but reading this thread does remind me how special people can find a way to include small children into their lifestyles. For those who are not familiar with this book by Cindy Ross, you might want to check this link: http://www.amazon.com/Scraping-Heave.../dp/0071373608

[Tuckahoe]

You're a ****ing scumbag to even consider something like this.
Ditch your kid for 6 months so you can **** off and "live your dream" for 6 months or force him to walk through the woods for 6 months for your pleasure.

5 years old are you ****ting me?

I'd like to say more, but don't want to be banned.

Was that really necessary?

[HikerMom58]

Was that really necessary?

Someone else gets to decide, Tuck...

[HikerMom58]

105_105.jpg

miss you little man.... kid was a natural born hillbilly. i won't be back to this thread, i have a feeling OP was sort of trolling. she hit alot of raw nerves with people. picture was taken at mountaintown creek in ellijay ga, just a few weeks before the accident. last time he walked with me. he was pissed i didn't bring a fishing pole.

Sweet lookin boy Hill Ape!

[Tuckahoe]

I am not a parent and can never fully imagine the feelings and emotions involved with being a parent and how deeply those of you that are parents love your kids. Hill Ape's post has affected me more than anyother I have read on this forum and reading the post made me think of my dad's motorcycle accident and the emotional roller coaster that was. I never gave a second thought to canceling backpacking trips that summer; and three years later I get a feeling of worry and guilt just planning a week long trip.

Lemni Skates also hit a cord with me as I so often think of the things in my dad's life that he gave up or sacrificed for us kids, without ever a second thought. I and my brother and sister are rare navy brats, because we never moved. Seventeen years of my dad's navy career were in Norfolk and when they wanted to send us to Bahrain or the Great Lakes, he he retired rather than uproot us kids from the place we were born and raised. He loved the navy and gave it up for us.

And with those in mind, I think that Slo-go'en has a point as well. I do not think its necessarily a bad thing, and can be beneficial all around.

i'll suspend my disbelief for just a moment. your avatar says you thruhiked in '08. obviously you know about the trail. so where are your priorities mysti? is it more important to you to be a parent to your child, or go thru hike again? or did you postpone your attempt because you had the child, and now you want your life back, needs of the child notwithstanding. it may be time to stop pretending to be a hippie.

tangentally related... for perspective

three years ago i lost my youngest son in a car accident. three days in a coma to be declared legally brain dead. i pulled him screaming into this world, i was the first person he saw when he opened his eyes. and when it came time to sign a fracking piece of paper, i'll be g_d damd if anyone but me was going to make that decision. he is my son, i owed it to him. he would be ten years old now. i postponed a hike "because" of him. i have no regrets about that. the longest hike in my life was carrying my little boy to a hole in the ground. think about that for a little while. you talk about power of attorney like you're making a responsible decision. if something happened, if you weren't there, if you couldn't be contacted. if your child had to be buried before you could say goodbye. how would you feel?

you are talking about abandonment, or a brutal force march on a child that can't make informed consent.

value every moment you have with your children. it can be taken in an instant. children need their parents.

go with god, hike your own hike, raise your own children.

I always wanted to be a head football coach at a high school. I was good assistant and j.v. coach (46 wins, 4 losses over 5 seasons). I was applying for jobs and felt I would soon have one, when my daughter was born. As soon as I held her, I became torn about my dream to be a head football coach. I knew it would take a lot of time away from my family, not a big deal when my wife and I were both pursuing our career dreams, but suddenly a little one made a lot of difference. I was talking about those feelings with my father and he said a sentence that changed my life, "When you get to be my age, you'll never regret any time you spent with your kids." My priorities changed. I quit coaching altogether for a good long while and really spent time raising my kids (my son, believe it or not, has never shown any interest in playing football). When my daughter turned 11 I found out she could run forever (maybe because she was in shape from so much hiking) and fast. To make a long story, short: I'm the CROSS COUNTRY coach at my high school and I've turned the program around. I've very happy with what I do and proud of myself, too. On Friday nights, I watch the football games and sometimes silently tell myself how much better I would have been as the head coach than the guys out there, but I really have no regrets. I've got 16 and 13 year old kids for whom I could fill up a post listing their accomplishments, but the main thing is, I have been there for everything for them. They adore me almost as much as I adore them and they both WANT TO THRU HIKE with Dad in eight more years when I retire. I really don't expect them to be able to do the hike with me, I know at 24 and 21 they'll be starting careers, getting married and whatever else, but just knowing they'd like to and MAYBE one or both of them can (or at least do some) and it's not going to be something I chose for them makes me feel good.

My suggestion, spend this time taking the little guy on some shorter backpacking trips (heck three miles out and set up camp is fine) and make sure he has a blast. Turn over rocks in the streams and look for crawdads, fly fish a little, make some smores, tell some stories, whatever. In five or six years, if you've made great memories like that it's possible he'll be begging you to take him on a thru.

I don't see what the big deal is.

It's not like the kid is a baby or toddler which needs constant attention. The kid is going to being looked after, not abandoned on the streets. Gezz. And who knows, maybe living at the friends for the summer might be benifical.

And we all know the chances of them actually being away for 6 months is a long shot. But I guess I got to agree, the timing isn't great. Unless there are strong compeling reasons to take the trip next year, it might be best to wait a few more years until your son is more self suficent. And maybe old enough to come along.

[BobTheBuilder]

I'm not sure that I would make decisions about my kids based on the feedback from an internet chat board.

[Water Rat]

Not sure the OP is even reading at this point... But, what does your kid think of the idea? Is he good with separation, or will it be traumatic for him? I should think that the kid would have something to say on the topic.

[DandT40]

Not sure the OP is even reading at this point...

You mean when people troll others on message boards they don't even go back to see the results? Stop feeding the trolls everyone...

Fortunately Hill Ape's post is worth the price of admission to this thread and gives some great perspective to all us parents. Sorry for your loss but thanks for sharing your story.

[Ender]

Shutting this thread. Can only go downhill from here. Thanks to Hill Ape for the touching story though.