You might be a thru-hiker if...

[Buzz_Lightfoot]

There are many ideas as to what constitutes a thru-hike. Some are OK with blue and yellow-blazing, etc. Others are fanatical and say “Not only must I hike every inch of the trail but I must kiss every white blaze I see!” Most are between these extremes and that is OK. You know in your own heart if you’ve honestly completed your thru.

But what about you folks who are in the process of doing your thru hike? When can you call yourself a thru-hiker when you haven’t finished yet? I’ve come up with this test to help you figure it out.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy…

If you clean your cooking pot out by boiling water in it, then use that water to make tea, you might be a thru-hiker.

If you’ve ever washed your clothes while still wearing them, you might be a thru-hiker.

If you suddenly realize that your normal breakfast formerly could have fed you for a whole week, you might be a thru-hiker.

If someone gives you a cold soda on a hot day and you talk about how great they are for days, you might be a thru-hiker.

If you pass a pile of fly-covered animal dung on the trail and the flies leave the dung to follow you, you might be a thru-hiker.

If you are offered a choice of sex or all-you-can-eat and you pick AYCE, you might be a thru-hiker.

If you have a pathological hatred of mice, you might be a thru-hiker.

And this last one is for you ladies... If your body hair is longer than your partner’s beard, you might be a thru-hiker.

BABY THRU-HIKERS NEED YOUR HELP! Please reply to this thread with more ways to help them tell when they have become a thru-hiker.

[garlic08]

...if "You gonna eat that?" becomes part of your vocabulary.

...if the scary, smelly person on the Greyhound bus turns out to be you.

[Lone Wolf]

...if you sneak other hikers into your motel room

[beakerman]

If a homeless person gives you his change....

[Monkeyboy]

If you think of all the functional uses of duct tape......

[vonfrick]

you don't know all of your friends real names

[CowHead]

if whats on your back cost more than your car

[ShakeyLeggs]

If when filling out a form that asks for your address and you put;

Your Name
HOLD FOR THRU HIKER
Care of General Delivery
Town, State, Zip

You Might Be A Thru-hiker

[ChinMusic]

If you go your backyard instead of the bathroom to relieve yourself....

[Valentine]

If you look at containers in the recyling bin as a possible stove, food container,.....
Deodorant as a luxery,
Running water from a tap as the greatest modern achievment.

[Mags]

...if the scary, smelly person on the Greyhound bus turns out to be you.

Does that really happen?

[atsent]

I've heard this is how you can tell apart a day hiker, a section hiker, and a thru hiker:

A day hiker is walking along the AT and sees some scattered M&M's lying on the trail. He/She kicks them into the bushes and keeps walking.
A section hiker comes by and sees the same M&M's. They pick one up, dust it off a bit, eat it, and keep walking.
A thru hiker then walks by, sees the M&M's, picks them all up, shoves them in their mouth, and gets down on the ground to dig for more.

[Buzz_Lightfoot]

Great stuff. Keep 'em coimin'!

If you consider Snickers bars a major food group, you might be a thru-hiker.

[garlic08]

...if your new motto is "Same shirt, different day."

...if your boss has a talk with you because you've worn the same clothes all week.

...if banjo music makes you nervous.

...if you've replaced all your towels with one bandanna.

...if you've remembered all the verses to "American Pie".

And the Western version: You might be a CDT hiker if you see cattle dung and immediately think, "Oh great! Water!"

[mweinstone]

you may be a thruhiker when:

you have brownblazed yourself at traildays
you know how to,"man made structure break/roadb o b e/saftey meet"
you know only how to abuse the nero and zero and not to use.
you fart loudly as newbys /dayhikers bed ashelter.
you scrub the place and even the toilets. then sleep their.
you have eaten and cooked shame.
you routinely eat out of your pot that you wash your balls in.
you now prefer women who know all about stuff like tinactin and imodium.
you fantasize about being miss janets houseboy.
pirates bo dont bother ya.
crazy horse in his vet with his whole get up seems fine and dandy to you.
when being on beauty spot with folks you love means more than ............

[Mags]

.
And the Western version: You might be a CDT hiker if you see cattle dung and immediately think, "Oh great! Water!"

Three hikers come to some cow pies in the middle of the trail.

The AT hiker says "WHO IS LETTING COWS ON MY PRISTINE TRAIL! I NEED TO TELL THE TRAIL AUTHORITIES!" Whips out his I-phone and calls said trail authorities.

A little later, a PCT hiker comes to the cow pie. The PCT hiker grumbles about "DAMN RANCHERS!" in mixed use trail environments, moves on and wonders how he can ban cows in the wilderness area. He writes an e-mail when he gets home to the trail authorities.

The CDT hiker comes to the cow pie and not only says "OH GREAT! WATER!" but follows said cow pies to the water source. He figures it is probably the trail anyway...

(Heard this chestnut while walking in the Utah desert with Suge)

With tongue firmly planted in cheek...

Mags

[mweinstone]

yes it all happened.......

[Nearly Normal]

....you treat section hikers with that condescending .............

[Rain Man]

Cold soda? Why would you need chilled soda to mix with the flower and sugar to bake something? I don't get it!!!

RainMan

.

[Ridge Rat]

you may be a thruhiker when:

crazy horse in his vet with his whole get up seems fine and dandy to you.

I dont think you have to be a thru-hiker for this one. Just come across him a couple times and it seems like it should be normal he's wearing a joe nameth shirt and driving an american flag painted vet.